She does not write to match
perception, nor tailor her words
to gain acceptance.

She pours out her raw essence—
Undiluted, unfiltered, never refined
for the sake of consumption.

The water was crystalline and cold
I danced with you in a crushing grip
and distant disconnection.

I held on to you—
in an illusory intimacy,
and deafening silence,
in the moments of fulfillment,
in the endless hours of isolation.

It was my first dance—
chosen with open eyes.
Youth tames wild rivers,
but the swirling depths take away
strength, naivety,
and wonder.

I persisted in stubbornness for years,
suspended between the worlds—
like a stone swallowed by a waterfall
at first, looking into an icy void
then into the warm sun,
convincing myself
I could heal something,
never having been whole.

Uncertain of what was
much closer to me—
my persistence
or my yearning
for what would never come to be.

Then the river tore me from the shore
carried me far away.

Did I ever have a choice?

The hardest thing
is to say goodbye to what
was never real.

This dance by the waterfall’s edge
will remain the only dance of my life.
I know I don’t want to be trapped
in the cold waters rushing toward
the abyss.

If I am to die any time soon
Please, lord, let it be on a Sunday afternoon;
Let it be 15 degrees with a slight breeze;
Let it be under a soft sky with a purple hue;
Let it put an end to me feeling so blue;
As the aeroplane trails fade out of sight,
Let the blackbird song lull me into night.

Hearts are meant to break
This is the undeniable truth of our human condition
Whether the blade is sharpened by lies
or selfishness
or hormones
or mortality,
others will always betray in some way

My demons are the loudest when I’m grieving heartache
My reliance on past paths to numbness breaks my heart anew
Maybe I am as weak as he made me feel
Or maybe I am just human with a heart built to break

© 2025 SincerelyJoanWrites. All rights reserved.