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679 · Aug 24
Beast (A man)
Jantar2b Aug 24
I watch as you cradle yet another beast
It's tangled fur and muddy face
They would be enough to scare off everyone else
But not you
Oh, not you
You reach out your hand to untangle the strands
To kiss the bared fangs
Because you believe in good
Because it can still be saved
I always wondered how could you be so trusting
To put your palm in the beast's jaw
You'd laugh off my worries
Saying, there's good in every being
You were right
Until you weren't
Oh you sweet fool
All beasts were once pure
But not men
Oh not men
But you didn't know that
Or you did
But you still did what you always have
You still took him in
Offered food, home, love
And that parasite grew
Until even you were not enough to devour
I don't blame you
But you didn't warn anyone
That there's a beast of the worst kind in your house
One that smells like ***** and cheap cigarettes
Oh you didn't
And I've paid for that
That beast tore me apart
When I was only growing
It defiled me
It made me scared
So much we both forgot
One from *****, one from fear
I don't blame you
But you can't save him
Not him
Because you can't save something that doesn't want to be saved
It'll reap your throat out and still ask for more
You can't save a man that ruins you
You can only suffer with him
Until he gets his hands on your niece that's six
Oh how much I wish I didn't stay at your house that night
It was filled with people
But no one noticed
How child's world shatters
And yet
You were never intimidated by any fangs
You always wanted to pet every monster
But you can't save something that kills
What is left pure
This one is very personal. It tells the story of my dear aunt and her husband. I hope she heals someday, I hope I do as well
454 · Aug 11
(A)STRAY
Jantar2b Aug 11
I follow your trail wherever you go
I chase your reflection from years ago
I remember all tricks you tought me once
Sit, paw, play dead, dance

You raised a stray pup on your own chest
Allowed in your home, allowed me to rest
I bared my teeth when you asked me to
I'd smooth fur on my neck if told so too

But you could never love such broken pup
For all of your care, I've never cought up
With what you hoped for me to achieve
My rotten heart forever will grieve

My canine mind still searches you
The words you've spoken are to me true
You are my faith, what I trusted whole
Yet you left with all the memories you stole

I howl at night when I loose the trail
A familiar feeling to be tossed while frail
I wonder if you could ever love a stray
I wonder if there's something that would make you stay

I sink my teeth in the scut of mine
All that chase is a waste of time
A mongrel could never be a reason to stay
I'm sorry it's my fault for going astray
188 · Aug 11
never again
Jantar2b Aug 11
You look away, I wonder why
Would you do this. You aren't shy
Your gentle hands don't long for me
I should have known better than to follow thee
But dog will always guide you home
No matter the hatred you harbor for some
You tried to be kind, I know you did
But you see, I've noticed the knife you thought you hid
You'd burry me flowers to beside me rot
And tiny ants would on my body trot
So before you hurt me I'll bare my teeth
I hope there's still love left in you underneath
Thank you for taking what you got to gain
I hope I will trust you never again
It's one of the older poems I wrote when I was still experimenting. There are mistakes, I'm aware but there's something nostalgic when I look at them. Maybe mistakes are poetry too
89 · Aug 11
Undo
Jantar2b Aug 11
I was wronged yet once more
So my faith is getting sore
I pray to believe there is still time
But there is no god on the sky of mine

My mum braids my hair like she used to do
The storm in my mind is about to break through
There's so little time, yet so much to gain
I would do anything to undo the pain

The years flew by like a shooting star
And through the life I've got so far
Now I feel broken, filthy and used
A lonely child the world has cursed

You tell me now it was all my fault
For not shouting out when being assault
You swore to help me yet now you detain
I'm begging you to undo my pain

Now I lay broken, gaze fixed on ceiling
Trying to drown out the failure of feeling
I am not heartless, I get hurt again
Much more to loose than there is to gain

I'm mad at you for leaving me here
I begged you to save me from drowning in fear
The voices inside me drive me insane
I only wanted to undo my pain
27 · 1d
Never truly left
You never truly left
Although you're just a hazy memory
You're still there
In every stranger
In every shadow
I can sense your touch
Ghosting my body
How many times have you ***** me I wonder
How many more would I allow it to happen?
I kicked you out
You were mad
Of course you were
But if you didn't leave
Nothing would change
Nothing did
I'm still that little girl you took advantage of
Deep down I'm still 13
Looking up to you
Still believing that I can trust a beast
A man

You never truly left
You still haunt me
In every touch
Every word
You defiled me
You knew I was hurt
Yet you tore me further still
And I don't hate you
I try to undo you from my blood
Even if it takes a lifetime

— The End —