In a different world,

A different mind a different body

Perhaps I'd be inclined to try and find the facts behind her fiction

But for now I'll buy in

Because this is too sweet to be reality and that's not what I need

I need a sign from up high before I'll jot my name on the dotted line

I don't need to know every little detail that lies behind her eyes

So tonight I'll take it slow I'll take it steady

We can share a drink and a long and contemplative passing of eyes, sharing of the deep thoughts inside our minds

If we find what we see to be of the proper tone, the proper texture

Perhaps into the wild blue yonder I'll venture...

I'll tell her what goes on inside the deep recesses of my mind

And in those dark spots she may decide my conclusions are nothing but pure conjecture

If she can find some inner part of her that longs for adventure than maybe I'll tell her

I think she's beautiful and she makes me weak in places I wish I was strong to begin with

But she makes me think that maybe I can flip this, fix this.

Put that part of me back together again

Just enough to pass close inspection

I'm this strange mix of a anti social quiet type of romantic who can't seem to find the courage he deserves

So I'll stick my chin up and tell her "Nothing" and something like, "Everything's fine"

Because a mind is a terrible thing to lose and I can't seem to find mine when I look into her eyes

She's got every color of the rainbow and at least fifty shades more

I'm torn

I know that I'm not the best for her, and she deserves that

I know that in my head but my heart can't seem to conserve that, steady flutter it means to burst out of my chest and fly

and I can't for the life of me figure out why

In a different time

I could just bring you flower and announce that you could be mine

And that would fine

But now days we have to dance around the issue because that's the socially correct thing to do

I can't help but feel cheated

I'm an old soul inside a young mind

I feel this way about eighty-five percent of the time

On a different day

In a different way

perhaps I'd say something that could make you stay

But your future awaits

So I'll surrender the very idea of us to the fates

And hope that one day

Things will be different

You and I went for a drive today
squeezing ourselves into your car
jostling for space amongst five years worth of love and loss
lapping an aimless mosaic
through  the streets we grew up in.

I say I want to clear the air
looking at the  scars your hands collected since I last saw them
and you say it's funny we are both so stubborn
or we would've spoken sooner
watching the road
with the wry grin that has always stayed with me

Of all the things we talk about,
the hollowness you say you feel is what echos in your face
and the steely timbre in your voice
is so different from the happiness of when we first fell in love,
and I can see it  grip your steering wheel
hidden in your broken knuckles
every time that you accelerate.

Everywhere I let my eyes wander
All the faces I dare to glance upon
They're all the same

It's all water
Placid as glass
Every detail coagulates
Into one blank page
A diary of lost souls

I feel pulled under
By the cascading heights
Of my insecurities
Constantly wondering;
Does anyone else see this?

If the world is invisible to us all
Where do we aim our eyes:
*To the clouds?

Often heard people say,
You only love once.
True love only comes around once in your lifetime.
There'll never be more than one soul mate,
more than your one and only.
The one who is so terribly wrong for you, but loving him feels more than right...it is perfection.

I met him years ago, the beginning of Autumn.
New season, new love.
Never knew it would turn out to be THE GREAT LOVE.
We were both so young, passionate and in love.
But as seasons change, so do people.

I was a student, she already had a career.
Guess the choice was easy.
She was the perfect choice, I, well I was a bit too broken, too wild to be tamed.
I was the party girl, the tattooed one, too unstable to be loved.
If only he knew that the wild loves unconditionally...we love forever.
I wanted to cry out loud, pick me!
The words just never reached my mouth.

I saw him recently and after six years,
I knew...I just knew this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.
He told me he is too messed up...too selfish to be with someone.
What if he hurts me?
What if he cannot give me the happiness I deserve?
God, does this man not know he is my happiness.
I believe everything in life is a gamble and I'm willing to bet my heart.
I am willing to try, but I cannot do it alone.

If ever I walk down the aisle,
Lord, please let it be him waiting there for me.
I do not want to be his whole heart, I just want to be the one letting it skip a beat.
I want to watch him fall asleep and kiss him goodnight.
I want to be his wife.

For when true love comes around, it only happens once.
Never will you love someone the way you love your soul mate.

To be continued...