I looked to heaven today and I found God, to my surprise
He was pointing at me and laughing
Watching me spiralling.

He thought it ironic how I said I didn't believe in him.
He wasn't offended even a little bit
But he let me know that he didn't believe in me either.

I can't blame him, I don't reach out or try to talk to him anymore
And the only times I say his name are all in vain.
Even now, I'm slightly ******* him off by not capitalising "H"s or calling him "Lord".

Then again, I doubt he gives a **** about grammar or what I think.

Leave it alone
I've done all I can and now it's time to go
Perhaps I'll drive home
This bottle once spoke now it screams through my throat

And I swear to you I feel alive
As I swerve from lane to lane, from left to right
Don't try to stop me now; I can feel again
But I promise I'll still crash the ******* car just the same.

I swear to you, I felt alive.
But maybe I didn't want to be.

And I don't want anyone to know.
This wanderlust has got me reeling;
I am begging for a new start.

But can I stay?
I've never been able to before.
My travels are visits and habits, never routine.

I am no one.
I am nowhere.
You can't miss me that way.

My wishful thinking has led me astray again
I'm out of place like a ship at sea that belongs in a bottle
And sinking just as quickly into shallow water.

I yearn for you to caress my insecurities again
And suture my aching wounds.
Though old, they still open from time to time (especially with every photograph of you I see).

I wish it was my birthday or Christmas so that I may hear from you.
Not blessed by your voice (I am not that naïve) but perhaps
A message on a screen tantamount to some words scribbled onto a napkin to tell me where I belong...
-------------------------------------------
It should not take so long to belong to something greater;
Maybe this sinking is a blessing -
And the ocean will welcome me.

Lover, I am enamoured by your passion
The gleam in your eyes and their gaze into the horizon
As you go on and on about him

I get lost in your words
Fabricate scenarios in which you notice
The slight sense of urgency that my hands posses to keep you

I ponder and hesitate. Almost asking, nearly begging,
Definitely dying to know if you've ever flirted with the idea
That someone could hold you so tight, the broken pieces mend

And if you've ever considered that's how beautiful I could be.

But I let you continue your discourse on his perfection.
Let my cynicism wash over me and coat me in armour.
I know you could never.

Not even enough to write.

The months pass and the tears fall
Words left unsaid plague the mind
Memories upon memories
Upon memories, never left behind

Empty arms, still open
Stomachs that turn, hearts that ache
Hope lost, regained, and lost again
Promises made, left in limbo so as to never break

Silence. Filling a whole house.
Silence. Everything that comes out
Is silence from the mouth
Of a faceless man with silent doubt

All that is known is that the wait will be endless
He will never again feel her sweet caress
So as the months pass and turn into years
And Summer continues to Fall, so do the tears

First off, a very backhanded congratulations to you, madam
Next, how dare you speak of that which you say you have never known?
You knew it with me and I knew you did but **** me
It never occurred to me that you thought it was as common as you make it.

Love?
Lies.
Love lies.
Love lies dead in the pool of blood next to the gun you used to **** it.
The blood is mine and I hope that you drink it all
Why wouldn't you? You already took everything else of mine with you.

So cliché, isn't it?
The way I'm acting must come off as melodramatic...
But the most cliché thing of all nowadays is
Saying, "I love you"...
... because you, like many other people, don't mean it.
The only love I've ever seen you give was to yourself.
It's called vanity, honey.

Now, cheer up. He's calling you joyfully
"Knowing" that you are "his"
Smile so that he hears it,
But don't clean up:  he can't see your make up running.