You see,
I seem to have caught
the deathly hug of hubris
I know everything
But what does it all mean?
The pleasures of life go right above my head
And time drips from my fingertips
Plip, plop, plip
I am a blip
And this hug,
Why does it make everything so sad?

If only you could understand
Whatever I have to say
I'm sure that you could see
Many things my way

And if only I could understand
Whatever you have to say
I'm sure that I could see
Many things your way

Have I become a vestige of memory?
Are words the only thing keeping me....

Alive?

I fear death; both literal and metaphorical.

These letters trickle from my veins-
Crimson rain
To let you know
I'm still up there
Pouring my all
Into whatever container
You need filled.

I am not dead.....

Still

We all were so close,
we all had each other's backs,
and you gave the best hugs
until you stabbed me in the back.

You had turned so fast
I had to do a double take,
I had no idea
you could act so fake.

I wish I would've known
that you had another person
living inside of you,
a parasite infecting you
from the inside out,
I wish I had never had to find out.

I wish I could just have
the old you back,
because you used to give the best hugs
until you stabbed me in the back...

I just found out after years
of light and loving laughter
that you've hated me all this time.
It's crazy the number
of masks in your collection,
happy and caring and loving masks
that were, in the end, too good to be true.
Just thinking about you makes me think
about the masks we all put up.
It's like every morning we wake up
to go to a huge masquerade party,
and instead of taking
our masks off at the end of the night,
we sleep with them on,
always lying, always deceiving
even when the party's over.

I sat in silence
and whispered to myself.
I don't deserve this pain.