Dear Mom,
I think the last time you hugged me was when I left you, left the country.
You were crying then, and Raaida wouldn’t even look at me. And right then I knew I was loved.
Till the months that followed, I never knew what it was to physically miss someone, but I found out then.
You were always there for me, when I was bullied, when I bullied you,
Remember the time you were so mad you wouldn’t speak to me?
That was the first time I had ever wanted to die.
I had hurt you, scarred you so much with my words.
You were always sticking for the right, would always sternly tell me I should be considerate.
Remember that day I’d rebelled at school and came home, my face streaked with tears, expecting to be disowned.
But instead you laughed at my insecurity and told me that if I did what my heart thought was right, then I should own it proud, own it loud.
I expected to be kicked out, and you laughed, mirthful, happy, supportive.
Even when Dad couldn’t be there, you were always there,
Three kids, and a whole load of responsibilities,
and that always makes me miss you physically, unconsciously,
Even when I’m not thinking of you.
I didn’t want to do this on a Mother’s Day, because you’re special to me everyday.
But Mom.
I’ve grown.
No one wants it but it’s the way it is.
To let me fly, you must set me free,
You can no longer guide me with a kite string, I have to be lost and found on my own.
I know you‘ll miss me, and
I’ll miss you more.
You were there from before the day I was born.
28.05.2020
I wrote this in my head as I stood next to you, knowing for some reason that we didn’t hug anymore, and I guess, it’s hard to go back that easily.
I’m always too shy to let you see my work, and I hope if you do, you realize you were the greatest Mom to ever exist on earth, and I love you, and will love you always.