Dear Past you know who you are
And I know you live somewhere that is too far
There are a lot of things that I want to tell you
Whether you're still waiting or you already have someone new

I'll always remember that very day
When fate managed to cross our ways
I didn't see it coming to be honest
But then I realized that that day is the best

We had our humble beginnings
Sharing smiles and a whole bunch of little things
That was the time that I knew
What love is and it's all because of you

You're not perfect I know that
But then I'm thankful that you're not a spoiled brat
You know what contentment is
And appreciation is one of your best keys

Past love, I'll cherish all of those moments
Whether you're fated to be mine, or destined to marry someone else
I'll always hold those memories
That'll forever take a huge part of me

I love you so much and I always will
I know in my heart that this love will remain still
I don't know what tomorrow may bring
But at least I knew and loved a person who's worth remembering

So wherever you are now and whatever you do
Look at the stars because I'm looking at them too
If time comes that we'll no longer see each other
At least, by looking at the sky, we can be together

Now this is where my letter will end
You take care no matter what happen
You will always carry my heart
More than what you did from the very start

As I think how everything started
I realized something
As I reminisce how all had ended
I felt a devastated feeling

It was so overwhelming
Not just the end, but most especially the beginning
I tend to smile as I look at the night sky
As I go back to how things started between you and I

At first, everything was so quiet
Oh, I will never forget
How your smile started a sentence
And with my response, everything felt so endless

Years went on and things had changed
From being familiar we end up estranged
We still tried though
To burn the gap and start again from zero

And yeah we did it
We started from zero
But as days pass and as the clock ticks
it seemed that zero is where we're intended to go

Time flies and distance killed the flame
A heart full of love turned into a heart full of pain
We know deep inside, things can't be the same
But still we decided, to try it all over again

Time has been our enemy
And our defeat was its greatest victory
No matter how hard we've tried
The chances we thought we have, had already died

Almost, we're almost there
We almost reached our greatest dreams
Almost, we're almost there
Almost, is where all ends, it seems

Problems rise, Troubles spring up
In this fight in life, I really had enough
I can't move, I can't think
It seems my vanity's gone after a single blink

I try to solve one, but there comes another
Restless as I am, problems become harder
I seek for help, but gained nothing
So to tell you, I was alone in everything

Pain was my twin, and bleeding is my hobby
Healing is something elusive, and impossible for me
Goals become harder as I try to push further
I thought I was almost there, but I ain't any closer.

Alone
Is what I've been since you left
Finding
Any piece of happiness that I could get

Alone
Is now the only word that I know
Learning
Every lesson as I go

Alone
In solitude, my hearts find air
Alone
With so much pain to bear

For one moment in our lives
Our paths had crossed
All through those times, we tried to survive
But at the end, we lost

We got separated
And things began to change
Years had counted
Until it felt so strange

We got our lines back again
After years of separation came to its end
I see your face, you see mine
It felt like a dream that would last a lifetime

But now here we are
Separated once more
As far as the earth is from the stars
I know we can't take it back anymore

We could've had a second chance
To start things all over
But then I failed for more than once
Now it's finally gone forever

Now, I'm gonna return
Without you waiting there
With these memories completely burned
I can only speak to the air

She's one of a kind, a beauty so mesmerizing
A charm that won't even stop jaws from dropping
She's undeniably amazing
Undeniably eye-catching

Her voice can soothe a broken heart
Like a lovely melody as soon as it starts
With a touch of softness and a bit of strength
I feel like drawn deeper in her voice's very depths

Her stature can really get someone's attention
Whether by accident or by any mere intention
She's just wonderful
Awfully wonderful

If words are coins, then I could've spent more than millions
Just to lay down her beauty's definition
But then coins are different and words aren't enough
Words aren't enough

I saw you across the street
Laughing as you sit next to him
I never bothered to get your attention
Coz it was never my intention

I just came back to check if you're fine
And now it seems, that you're alright
Now you have the happiness that you ought to find
Happiness, that I am no longer the reason behind

Before I leave, I hope those smiles will remain forever
And that man beside you will leave you never
May the both of you remain tight
Coz I am now giving up the fight

I can face any problem for your sake
I will stay by your side and will never walk away
I will fight for you no matter what it takes
Even though my heart and life will be at stake

It's really nice to hear these lines
That I thought I would be able to apply
Unfortunately, fate is not on my side
So instead of keeping you, I lost everything behind

As I sit here and look at the stars
It is you whom I have in mind
Because though my mind knows that you're too far
It's still you that my heart seeks to find

But then suddenly, I realized something
Something that really tears me apart
It's about you and about everything
That meant a lot to me from the very start

I realized that indeed, it's been a long time
That we've been apart with seas in between
Changes occurred without me by your side
When you needed me, I was nowhere to be seen

I regret the times that were lost to be honest
That I still carry them inside my soul
Lingering at the depths of my chest
My heart still remembers them all

But now, we're really different from each other
You're the clouds in the sky while I'm on the lowest ground
Maybe these are signs that we're not meant to be together
And the love I tried to revive is nowhere to be found

It's been a long time since our last call
Never heard of anything about you
It was I, i know, who decided to end it all
Because I know it's the right thing to do

Believe me, I never wanted to push you away
But because I want you to be happy, I did it anyway
I had no choice, nor I had any other option
But to say goodbye with no guarantee of reconnection

You are special, you will always be
But then I know, what you need is no longer me
I may be your past and a part of your present
But then I guess, this is where everything will end

I know you tried and I did my best too
To restore everything that the past broke into two
But then, the wound is beyond healing
Telling us that we can't do anything

Our chapter started, and now it has ended
A new chapter opened, but we're now separated
It breaks my heart, if only you knew
To remember that I did something I never wanted to

So now, I think, this is finally a goodbye
Closing the very hope that was once so alive
You have your own life now and I have mine
Thanks for being a light in my once darkness filled life.

I try to smile, I try to laugh
I tried my best, It wasn't enough
Went the extra mile, broke an arm and a leg
Almost struck down, I could only beg

Like silhouette, my dreams have become
Dark as it seems, fathomable for some
Met by complicated complications
Still having unrealized realizations

Chained by wrong decisions
Stabbed by senseless expectations
I lie and wait for vanity to vanish
As I think of the things i didn't accomplish

I long for air to breathe and someone to hold
Someone who can be a flame when it's getting cold
I long for a place where my soul can be still
And where my longing heart could have its fill

Like a canoe, I float on an uncharted water
Where directions are vague, and there's nothing to ponder
Lost in the very sight of the horizon
Consumed by life's endless complication

It's been long
How are you?
What are you doing?
What's new?

Never heard anything
Never seen anything
I missed this
I missed missing you

I know for sure
That I should not feel this way
But then I cannot endure
To let you just slip away

Don't mind me
I am not worthy of your time
Just mind him
And I'll just watch from behind

Don't ask me what love is
Because my answer would be You
Don't ask me how long I've been in love
Coz it'll forever feel so new

Don't ask me what keeps me inspired
Because it'll still be you
Don't even think that I'm speaking lies
Because all of these are true

Don't ask me of what name makes me smile
Because that will be your name
Don't tell me my words will change
Because forever they'll be the same

Don't ask me what pain is
Because I'll only have one answer
But if you still insist
It is the fact that we are not for each other.

Fine soft hands and joy-filled eyes
Filling each moment with full stretched smiles
With two people lying side by side
With no one else, only You and I

The wind blows such a charming breeze
Gracefully moving the surrounding trees
Thoughts filling every corner
Ah, the scent I will always remember

You were there with arms wrapped around me
Telling stories as I listen carefully
I can sense the joy that's flowing in your tone
Knowing that in your arms, I feel I'm at home

After a while, we both stared at the night sky
Looking everywhere from left to right
Seeing the stars shining so bright
Deep inside I know I'm spending an unforgettable night

All of a sudden, you told me about your dreams
About your hopes, about you and me
I just stare at your eyes and watched you as you speak
As I hold your hand upon this mountainpeak

But in the spur of a moment, a sudden light came in
I was confused when I saw you smiling
Then suddenly my eyes were opened
It was just a dream and will never really happen.

Can you remember
Where we first met?
It was at the beach
In front of an awesome sunset

From then on, things went fine
Everything's sweet, everything's alright
Oh can you remember that day
When I can still see your face

It was long gone and I know it
Now I hold your dust but I can't bury it
As tears fall in front of this sunset
You'll always be someone I won't forget

As silence reigns
And twilight glows
With clouds that seem to pour some rain
Here on the beach, I sat alone

Tasting the air
As I close my eyes
I know you're there
Far enough not to be by my side

As I breathe in
And eventually breathe out
I cherish the memories within
Memories that I can't live without

Everything about you
Everything about me
Everything we've been through
Will extend through eternity

I've been walking on this road called life
Gaining things then eventually leaving them behind
I've drawn the sweetest smile
And felt a stabbing pain after a little while

I was once treasured, but now I am not
I was once a friend, now I'm just something that they forgot
Is this what life really is?
Or is there something that I have missed

Laughter was once my sign of happiness
But now I use it to conceal my deepest sadness
Though it's hard, I try to make it sound real
Pretending that joy is what I feel

I long for someone who could understand
Who could wipe all these by just holding my hand
But along these years, it seems hard to find
Thus, helping myself is the only thing I have in mind

When we reconnected
All I felt is sheer happiness
I thought at last we could continue what we thought has ended
And it took away the sadness

Months pass by and it feels like we're together again
Every passing minute I wish that this won't end
I text you, I call you on the phone
Whether I'm with my friends or I am alone

I love you, I told you that a lot of times
I miss you, I think I said these more than twice
You said you wish to see my face
And that's what you're dreaming all these days

I tried my best and searched for any chances
In order for us to see each other's faces
But sadly it seems that fate is against me
Whenever I'm almost there, hindrances stood in front of me

Then months went on, and still I'm not there
I know you're waiting, saying prayers in the air
But nothing happened
Nothing happened

Until one day, I heard you're with someone new
You love him and he loves you too
So even though it's painful for me to do
I'll accept that I am not the one for you

If you'll say that I can fool you
Yes that's true
If you'll say that I might leave you
Then, I agree with it too

If you'll say I might find someone else
Then, it might really happen
If you'll say I might love somebody else
Then, it might be our end

If you'll say that I might do all these
Then I want you to hear what I say
As long as my life never ceases
These things will never cross our way

If I tell you I miss you
What would you say?
Are you gonna believe me?
Or you'll just leave these words away

If I tell you I'll stay
Would you do the same thing?
If I tell you I'll do everything
Will you forget the painful word called "Leaving"?

If I tell you I want you back
Would you return?
Don't worry, I know you won't
I know you won't

You told me to leave you
But both of us know that that's something I won't do
So at first, I didn't mind it
I just thought that you didn't mean it

But then one day, you stopped talking
Even though everyday I kept on asking
About how are you, and how you're doing
But you didn't send me a thing

Years passed and you eventually made me surrender
Although it hurts, I know letting you go is what's better
But if one day, you will ask me if I still love you
Trust me when I say I still do

I can see the smiles on your face
you look beautiful
Seeing you is paradise
What i say is true

I wish that i can be there
When you're needing me
I wish that i can touch you
and hold you near
Coz you are all that i need
Just you

I can see you as you stretch your arms
In the morning
Painful thing is that i can see you
And you can't see me

Just a day to live
Is all i wish
So that i can say I love you

Just a bit of time
Is all i want
Just to be with you

A kid
I was once like this
About life's problems
I never bothered myself

Time
Passed by so fast
I didn't notice it
I didn't see it pass

Toys and Imaginations
Were once my playmates
But now I have
Anger, Sadness and Hate

Where joy is felt and friends are found
I am now the only one running here round and round
People come and people go
I realized it now that I am old

Memories and regret
Are some of the things we could ever get
Life then I realized
Is not always a rainbow in a blue blue sky

I am leaving now
Please don't cry
If only I have a choice
I'd rather stay by your side

Hug me tight
For I will bring your scent with me
Across seas and endless sky
I'll bring your face till eternity

Tell me how much you love me
And I will listen to it very carefully
Tell me that you won't find anyone
Tell me it'll forever be me

Hold my hand and let me see your smile
Let me capture this moment like a photo in my mind
So just in case I can't return
I'll always have your smile till the day I die

Life is a journey
With straights, curves and dead end alleys
With choices as roads of which you take
Wherein your future is surely at stake

You will fall in some areas
Fall short in some scenarios
But then life, is not just about falling
Instead, it's more about rising

Wounds will surely touch your soul
And sometimes, take the ones you treat as your all
But then remember, that when we lose in some turn
For sure something better will come in return.

You get up every morning
Without any idea how things would go
You have thoughts that are conflicting
Asking for answers you still don't know

Then you slowly start your day
With a cup of coffee and some music to take the sleepiness away
You open your phone and scroll through the news feed
Seeing tons of things you don't actually need

You see how good the life of other people are
Then all of a sudden, you compare your life with theirs
You feel sad and think that you are not living a good life
Then little by little, tears form in your eyes

My friend, please don't get me wrong
But your life might be great already
You just can't see it
Because you're focused on someone else's

You know what
There are times that I remember
All the days where all you did is that
To push me away from your border

You said words that can break my heart
Counting my sins from the very start
But I don't know if you noticed it in some way
That no matter how rude you are, I never walked away

Sometimes you're sweet
Sometimes you're bad
Sometimes you long for me
As if I'm the only one you've ever had

Your mood is like waves
Tossed to and fro
But I didn't mind it anyway
Just because I love you so

But then one day
You told me you're with someone
You pushed me away
As if I am just no one

One thing that I realized
Maybe it's time to let go
Because no matter how I stayed throughout the fight
There's no chance for us anymore

As I put my gaze upon these tangible memories
My tears form and slowly began to fall
Because every smile that my eyes can see
Reminds me of how we started it all

It reminds me of a time lost in the shadows
It reminds me of the love we really ought to hold
It reminds me how we pushed through high and lows
It reminds me of the bond that we used to fight for

It makes my heart to break into pieces
And causes my mind to lose its focus
To see the one I really loved across the ages
Where we still have the right for the word "US"

Now it's long gone and can't be redeemed
This pain-inflicted heart will continue to bleed
Until it is dry and can't sense any feeling
Your lingering memories will always be its ending

Midnight
A perfect time for a lonely soul
To think of thoughts it could ever call
To dream of chances that could ever fall

Midnight
A quite time for a soul to cry
To release the pain lurking deep inside
To reminisce memories left behind

Midnight
A choice time to cherish regrets
And think of the things you tried to get
And cry over someone you can't even forget

Midnight
Where the sun hides and the moon shines
Where darkness reigns and the cold breeze blows so nice
Chilling the heart that's been trying to survive

Under the moon
Silhouettes can be seen
Under the moon
Is where we used to be

Below the stars
Lies two happy hearts
Below the stars
Lies a heart filled with painful scars

By the shore
Is where we used to sit
By the shore
Is where all had ended

Across the horizon
My voice calls your name
Across the horizon
I know it won't be the same

On your wedding
I wish you all the best
On your wedding
I'll pray for the rest

On your wedding
I hope you will be happy
On your wedding
Though the guy is not me

On your wedding
I better not attend
On your wedding
I will just hear of the things that will happen

On your wedding
You will start a new life
On your wedding
Bids my sincerest last goodbye

Pain
I knew it when I was young
Pain
I've been hiding it all along

Pain
It tears me from the inside
Pain
Something that doesn't seem to subside

Pain
Both an enemy and a companion
Pain
Makes it hard for me to move on

By looking at your photo
I feel myself going back in time
Engulfed by pain and sorrow
I don't know what to put in mind

You were standing
As you look across the sea
And as the wind is blowing
I know you're thinking of me

Maybe you're asking
Why is he not still here?
How long can I keep on waiting?
After all of these years

In your eyes
I can clearly see
That behind those mesmerizing smiles
You're waiting for me

But then, it seems that life won't allow me
To be with the girl I always wish to be with
As I look at your photo, I break in tears
As I realized you've waited for nothing, all through these years

Gray moving clouds
Moving across the twilight sky
As a sad song continues to sound
My endless thoughts began to fly

With silence all around
And no one to bother
In the song my soul is drowned
With solitude as its very shelter

Past Past Past
Is where this soul wants to live
Though it passed by so fast
Those are the things I can't retrieve.

I am so sorry
Are the words that I want to tell you
I am so sorry
But I was not able to

I am so sorry
For just leaving you behind
I am so sorry
But it's the only way that I have in mind

I am so sorry
That I failed you
I am so sorry
But I did all the things that I could do

I am so sorry
I say these words in the air
I am so sorry
Oh how I wish that I could be there

Sitting by the bench, lost in my dreams
That are travelling across miles it seems
Inside my head is nothing but you
Lurking inside
Living inside

How can I move on?
Everyday I ask this to myself
Really desperate, but I can't find any answer
Everytime I think about her

They say love can make someone happy
But what happened to me?
They say love lasts for eternity
But why it didn't happen to me?

They say love can make us strong
But why it made me so weak all along?
They say love means everything
Then why people play with it as if it's nothing?

They say love never fades
Then why some people can just put it away?
They say love lasts forever
Then why some people ended up broken asunder?

Questions
Are all that's in my mind
Answers
Are all I am struggling to find

Clues
Entangles my whole being
Since You
Chose to leave everything

Future
I will face it with uncertainty
Forever
Seems to have no meaning for me

In conclusion
Words are all that I have
Unfortunately
They're not enough

What if I suddenly die?
Would you ever cry?
What if I can't say anything?
Would you still have that sincere understanding?

What if I can't you see you anymore?
Are you gonna stay? Or you'll just walk out the door?
What if I can't even say you name?
Would you remain the same?

What if I am not as strong as before?
Would you think of me as someone not worth living for?
What if I can't even remember you?
Are you gonna walk away and find someone new?

Son, Daughter, I know I am not perfect
And I know I failed you in many ways
But then, just a single "I love you" will make my day
And bring a permanent smile that I will bring down the grave.

The bell rings and you're dressed in white
Wearing a smile that's so clear and bright
Rosy cheeks and glowing eyes
You're really happy, I realized

You began to walk slowly
Looking at everyone that seems to be really happy
With tears dripping on your face
I can see that this is your most awaited day

Slowly by slowly, you are coming towards me
While I can't even move at the very sight of your beauty
As I look at you, I feel like a kid again
Oh how I wish this feeling will never end

But unfortunately it did, and you walked past me
I put my head down to accept reality
That I am just here to witness the most painful thing
And that is to see him giving you his ring

I try to be happy as you say your vows
I want to end it, but I didn't let it out
But instead I smiled and looked at him
Wishing he'll love you more than I ever did

Your eyes shines like morning sun
Your voice sounds like a sweet song has begun
So mesmerizing, captivating
One of a kind and worth remembering

Your hair that flows like subtle waves
Coated by radiance embossed by the day
Your beauty's really eye catching
Like a flower that attracts a bee that's flying

Words, aren't enough to describe you
I'm not flattering, I just say what is true
Young or old, your beauty's everlasting
From the start till the endless ending

Do you wanna know what makes me cry?
It's your voice
It was your voice
On that day you said goodbye

When you said you missed me
I broke into tears
Softly, Silently
Because I don't want you to hear it

Do you wanna know what breaks my walls?
It's your voice
Always your voice
Until you decided to erase it all

When you silently said "I love you"
I pretended that I never heard it
I told you to say it again, but you don't want to
But inside my heart, I kept those words in secret

Not just because it came from you
Not just because it is I who you're talking to
Not just because I know you mean it
But because I know that's the last time I will hear it.