Sierra: Poems

1.1k · Apr 2019

RipTide

Sierra Apr 2019

RipTide

As I gaze into your endless oceans,
I fall in awe of you.
Ripples arise with every touch of skin.
pulling me deeper with every wave.

900 · Jun 2019

stop and start

Sierra Jun 2019

stop and start

I stop and start...
sometimes i can write, sometimes i can even develop my own thoughts.

i numb myself with nicotine,
with a head buzz, so I can be free of my own thoughts ...
of myself.

#free #myself

516 · May 2019

My Gardener

Sierra May 2019

My Gardener

My Gardener

from beneath the soil,
slowly i grow.
pushing through, with the little strength i have left.

for my gardener pushed me deep into the soil,
hoping i would not raise.

Therefore, I did.

I've been looking at this rough draft and can't seem to finish it

432 · Jun 2020

sweet then sour

Sierra Jun 2020

sweet then sour

first, sweet
then, sour
you grab me by my throat and make me cower
i freeze.
you do as you please.

#sweet #sour #sad #****

365 · Jun 2019

Dreaming

Sierra Jun 2019

Dreaming

Dreaming of you,
Dreaming of our adventures that remain undiscovered. . .
Our memories that await,
beneath the sun and sea
with my one and only.

347 · Apr 2019

To my sweetheart

Sierra Apr 2019

To my sweetheart

The things I thought were so important,
are no longer relevant.
You remolded my idea of a perfect man.
Patient and gentle,
Caring and kind.
I'm so happy, you are all mine.

#love #sweetheart #happy

295 · May 2019

Sometimes. . .

Sierra May 2019

Sometimes. . .

Sometimes.
They aren’t like this,
They don’t always yell...
They don’t always make me feel worthless.
Daddy always tells me he loves me after he screams, or hits.
They are good people… sometimes.

283 · May 2019

A Year Ago Today

Sierra May 2019

A Year Ago Today

A year ago today
A year ago today, he grabbed my throat. I gasp for air. barely in park.
He pulled me like a rag doll.
he got me where he wanted me, not where i want to be.
Tears run down my face. I am frozen, i am just an object at that moment in time.
As the tears flow and i close my eyes knowing that is all i can do at the moment.
He goes harder.
The longest lasting moment of my life.
He is done. And my journey has just begun
A year ago today.

216 · Apr 2019

Little Blue Pills

Sierra Apr 2019

Little Blue Pills

little blue pills.
Morning sickness,
nothing tastes the same,
my toothpaste makes me gag.
All the side effects without all the benefits

morning sickness,
All this just for human contact
Just to feel loved.

Is this love?
Or is this lust for companionship.

#love #lust

211 · May 2019

My Night Light

Sierra May 2019

My Night Light

From the moon to the stars
you still shine brightest
in my eyes

206 · Jun 2019

Late Nights

Sierra Jun 2019

Late Nights

Late nights,
glimpses of your smile with every passing street light.

Rough roads with every turn, but always a good time with you.

jokes so bad I can't help but snort
a voice so smooth I can't help but fall

191 · Jul 2020

mother-in-law

Sierra Jul 2020

mother-in-law

. . . *******

186 · Jun 2020

for rent

Sierra Jun 2020

for rent

I lay awake at night,
allowing men who never deserved me to take up my headspace,
allowing myself to fill with poison.

they handed me the pills,
but i still decided to take them.

why do I allow toxic men to control my thoughts?

#toxic #bf #bpyfriend #dark

182 · Jun 2019

Sleepless

Sierra Jun 2019

Sleepless

I lay sleepless
Thinking about my lie
“I said no”.... I said nothing… I let it happen.

Society has taught me that saying nothing and saying no are two different things.

I lay sleepless
Maybe this changes everything
Maybe it changes nothing.
Why’d I lie?

I said nothing,
Not yes
Not no

I laid on him and cried after,
Lifeless
He thought I was sad to leave him

But in reality, I was mourning the loss of apart of my soul.
a part of me, I will never get back.

173 · May 2019

Touch

Sierra May 2019

Touch

Your touch.
Your touch gives me the butterflies,
I haven’t felt since…
Your smell gives me warmth deep within me.
You are my sunshine breaking through.

171 · Apr 2019

I Hope

Sierra Apr 2019

I Hope

I hope...
one day
you feel
the pain
that you
Made me
Feel.
And I hope it never leaves you. As it may never leave me.

166 · Jun 2020

Happy thoughts

Sierra Jun 2020

Happy thoughts

happy thoughts I say,
happy thoughts,
but here i am, writing from my dark place, the only places i ever seem to write from.

why is it so much easy to feel the darkness but never easy to see the light?

#happythoughts #dark

164 · Jun 2019

My Rock

Sierra Jun 2019

My Rock

My rock
You are my rock
Whoever you may be
You may cycle through
You may come to me in different forms
But you will always come back
No matter how far
Or how wide

155 · Jul 2020

Pinky Promise

Sierra Jul 2020

Pinky Promise

Pinky Promise

First a promise
Then a kiss
Full of happiness and bliss
I’ll hold you tight
With all my might
All throughout the night
And when day breaks
Our future awaits

. . .our adventure begins

if you dont read it with the right voice its no good...

151 · Jun 2019

Untitled

Sierra Jun 2019

Untitled

I’ve had maybe 7 hours of sleep in the past two days...

Not even deep sleep, just barely at rest.

I’m going crazy, I’m just unable, I’m unable to sleep. I’m unable to feel...

Imagine you start to feel happy, and then you just stop...
even though you should still feel happy, you can remember the feeling but it’s not there.
You feel empty, in a way hollow. Maybe even it’s bad right now and you shut day for days, you go though the motions of emotions, a smile, a laugh, but still nothing.

You start to feel like you aren’t even in your body anymore, you’re watching your life go by in a glass box.... I want to live. Actually live.

148 · May 2019

late nights

Sierra May 2019

late nights

late nights
I toss and turn,
uncomfortable in my own skin,
unable to distinguish dreams from reality.

#sleep

142 · Jul 2019

Untitled

Sierra Jul 2019

Untitled

There are so many memories that I will never be able to print,
so many that will fade with time.
But, these are the memories I cherish the most of all,
the ones I got to truly enjoy and take in for myself, in the moments between just us that we share.

Even my worst days are better with you

132 · May 2019

Fuck you

Sierra May 2019

*******

****
You
Devon

130 · Jun 2019

Mother

Sierra Jun 2019

Mother

How dare i feel,
How dare i stop mothering your children
How dear i take care of myself before you.. Before your kids..
When will anyone take care of me?
You smother me with your issues
Smother me… because you sure as hell don't mother means
But do i even deserve anything else?
Me the failure.

127 · Nov 2019

Long days

Sierra Nov 2019

Long days

Long days
After long days I lay awake,
  only you crossing my mind,
only wanting you by my side.
   I fall asleep to the smell
Of my you love, as it lays cross my back
                Wishing, hoping
   that it was not the smell but
the touch of you.
the touch of unconditional love
                  of patience
                  of caring
                  of warmth
                  of love I know will not fade away like this smell one day will.

You’re the smell of home, the smell I long to go back to at my lowest times my love

125 · May 2019

I feel...

Sierra May 2019

I feel...

I feel a lack of feelings at all.
The numbness takes over on weeks like this,
i keep moving forward because i know, i know it will pass
it always passes.

121 · Jul 2020

i wonder

Sierra Jul 2020

i wonder

I wonder if people,
keep tabs on me,
Like i do them. . .

I wonder if people,
Think of me
Like i do them. . .

I wonder if people,
Still feel the pain,
Like i do. . .

this is for all my ex's out there

#wonder

111 · May 2019

As I Float

Sierra May 2019

As I Float

As I float, gazing at you
feeling all my bad habits fade away with every passing day
As my heavy thoughts dissolving within me,
I am reborn, leaving my past to obtain my present.

110 · Aug 2020

-search-

Sierra Aug 2020

-search-

I am always searching
for something that can not be found but given
from people who care to little
Give to late
I begged,
for your acceptance,
Your love,
Your attention…
im done.
i will never receive what i give
And ive given my all.

to my parents, im done trying

107 · Oct 2020

Sometimes

Sierra Oct 2020

Sometimes

Sometimes I wonder;
Did it actually happen?

your hand around my neck,
tightening as your voice changes..
I’ll never forget the whisper as it left your lips

. . . You wouldn’t of come if you weren’t gonna put out.

Left without breath, frozen in time.
Without reason or Rhyme
For you knew the whole time.

My tears flowed, my voice no’d
Only till I froze,
My brain stopped,
My heart dropped,
Lost in time
Without rhyme.

Sometimes I wonder;
Did it actually happen?

It’s been two years and yet I would still run him over if I got the chance. Twos years and he still keeps me up. When will it stop? When will I get peace ?

74 · May 2020

how can I hate you

Sierra May 2020

how can I hate you

How can I hate you,

How can I hate you when you aren’t always bad,
When you help me out most of the time,

How can I not though,
When you don’t care, about my health,
About my education,
about me.

Oh, yes people think you care, and you do,
Sometimes.
When its convenient,

Why have kids, when you don't want kids all the time,
We are not something you can ignore til you're in the mood,
Till you're ready,

But how can i hate you,
Its not your fault you are sick,
It's not your fault, fully.

— The End —