New year, new future, new performance on life's stage
New book, new chapter with a brand new page
New friends, new plans, scrapes from new falls

But...

I am the same, I am still me, penning the same ****** scrawls

This body depriving me within 
Tints of sorrows conjured up—
In stains of abstinence of pure hollow
I couldn't breathe last night
My blood clogged up by my sins
Impasse on notions of my denial 

These paths lead me to dusk
At dawn I break just to fall again
I tried my best only to be drowned-—
Repetitively in this weir of waste
These eyes have not seen the world
Only norms that understood my roots of pain

I hid in places that no one knew 
Its host brought me to this ecstasy of elation
Only to realized it’s a transient rapture 
Only to torment & torture my desires
I saw my reflection inside these glinting bubbles
Scars of contempt & disgust
Filled my heart with pure dejection

Is this what I’m left with?
Will tonight be my time?
Will I be free?
From myself
From the ache,
The mask,
The cruel beneath—
From the endless war inside of me.


Erennwrites