Being a stepparent is a fate worse than life.
I spend my time feeding into relationships that will not stand the test of time.
I am here as support, no matter what you need.
But no matter what I do I’ll never be he.

He who made you,
He who abandoned you.
He who caused you pain.

No matter what he does, you love him all the same.
Whatever I do I am looked on with disdain.

Being a stepdad is the hardest of all work,
Using me and running to him,
It makes my feelings hurt.

Yeah he may have made you but he never put in the work.
I don’t want to take his place,
I just want peace.

For you to love me will make me forever pleased.

In life I struggle,
To share my feelings with others.
My logical facade,
Is the flimsiest of covers.
Underneath rages a fire of emotion.
I find myself incapable of release.
I find myself living without peace

When I write my heart does the work.
When the pen hits the paper
My emotions escape with a relentless flow.
I spill it all and out it comes.
Waves of feeling that I cannot control.
Rapid flows of pain and joy crashing into one another.

If only I could talk to people like I can to paper.
Maybe then I’d be a better man
Instead of a lost little boy with nobody to hold my hand.

All I do is fight,
It is ingrained in my soul.
To stand up for myself,
To defend my position,
To me is all I know.

I am tired now,
I just want to lay down,
To accept oppression in my heart.
To give up being me.

I am trapped,
Leaning on who I am,
While being crushed by how I feel.
I am losing this fight.
I have lost.

When I am lost,
My identity cannot be found.
When I am down,
The sky cannot be seen.
For right now I am swimming in a sea.
A sea of indifference.
Truly a dangerous place to be.
I could be happy,
I could be sad.
But no,
I am just...

It’s a dog eat dog world,
Or so they say.
But for me it is worse, unending pain.
I feed the dogs and provide them with support.
But when it comes to reciprocation, those dogs fall short.
Do I deserve the love I give, back?
Or do I deserve the pain of this knife in my back?
Should I be the enemy?
Or am I allowed allies?
Wherever I draw the line I am the only one on my side.
Nobody to help me,
And nobody to care.
When I fall down I can count on the floor for support.
When you fall down you have me for support.
I catch you when you are falling, and save you from impact.
I stand you up and I dust you off.
I wipe away your tears using nothing but love.
You look up at me with disdain before you run off.
It hurts me bad and it cuts me deep.
But never in your life will you care when I weep.
Why do I do it, I hear you ask.
But explaining myself is an easy task.
I treat others how I want to be treated myself.
Even if reciprocation is never felt.
I will never get treatment for my broken heart.
My feelings are deep,
And indeed heavy.
I carry it on my shoulders even though I’m not ready.
I hold it up for you on a daily basis.
Atlas had the world on his shoulders,
That’s an easy job for him.
I carry eternity, and a fight I’ll never win.