I thought I was better than this,
expected more,
a sense of superiority,
maybe i thought i had it all together,
and just didn't care enough to use that,
but no, it was all chaos,
uncontrolled chaos,
anxiety every day,
thinking of every way to move,
but frozen with no real options,
out of fear of failure,
I was always the best, and then I woke up with nothing.

What were you thinking,
sitting on the cusp of your guilt.
Why are you guilty of success?
All that shame and regret that has been built,
Shameful of what, how youv'e been blessed?
Up you look at those who you say don't matter,
serving up your deepest motives on a gold plated platter,
letting those who look and open jewel filled eyes,
observe your life and take what they find,
Don't be so naive, asking for time to breathe,
just use your mind and shut those blinds,
shut down and take control,
Let your passion soaked willpower unfurl,
like a sail after a storm, swirls and swirls,
then open up to the world,
let those colors blaze, clearing away such ancient haze.

Once that sun shines bright, pushing away selfish blight,
Let new ideas blossom, cross your T's and your I's, dot them,
Think them through, Colors red white blue, no,
Just the color of you.

Sins of our making,
Lives are for taking,
Fives for breaking,
No,
Lives more for making,
Leaves raking,
Hands and heads shaking,
Arguments remove our calm,
Disagreements drop like bombs,
Jokes drop like bonds,
Others drop songs,
And yet I drop my fondness of correctness,
and some may be specific but I'm the select-est,
picking and choosing,
who's winning and losing,
singing and soothing.
Incorrect.

Cold nosed,
Sore legs,
Desert dry throat,
And all I can think of is you...

That sense of anonymity,
Among numerous faces,
All searching for-
Things?
Acquaintances?
Or just something to do...
That chaos of complexity,
Gives some stress and anxiety,
But to some,
Can leave a calm sensation wash over their entire experience.

A one way ticket up,
the man never questioned it, then again, neither did I

Walking down the trail, grapes are raining and the pain in my stomach isn't waning, reality is collapsing all over again and all i can taste is almonds.

These boulders are spiraling out of control, but since when have I had control?
The head of the goat looks me in the eyes as the sun sets over the range,
"Man, you guys are brave", but why?
Am I on the edge?

Who the **** invented shame?
Is it some evolutionary development to prevent our "tribe" from murdering us?
Or is it just this handicap that society has placed on those who do wrong?
I mean its as old as the bible,
Yet i see it in infants who cant even read 12,000 or so pages,
By choice or not, why shouldn't we feel confident in our actions,
Shame and downcast glares have no place in this bittersweet journey of life.
Good or bad.
Right or Wrong.