I could feel the tension
I could feel he no longer wanted me
I knew when he looked at me and his eyes were looking through glass
I shattered in this moment
And I knew by the stale way he would say I love you
It sounded flat and so my heart became brittle
And I knew by how his hand would tremble against my skin
Stand off-ish hands, my skin is scarred
I knew then he no longer wanted me
I could feel the slow slipping, away.

I'm taking these pills to feel something more than what I am
I feel ******* Alive, drowning in pure bliss
Is this why they call it ecstasy?
Morphed bodies and connected souls
You can feel the music running through your blood vessels
Flowing through every Artery and *****
I can feel his hand grabbing at my heart
And ripping it from beneath my rib cage  
He's holding my heart in his left hand
And a blunt in the right
I'm scared but I'll just hit the blunt.

I'm a broken branch, bent and scratched
And yes I WANTED to love him
But a branch bent can not be fixed
And a sense of love morphed
can not either
and you see now why WANTED is the key word.

You found me awake but asleep on the bathroom floor.
Strung out.
Blood filling the tub with bright red.
The sinks over flowing causing an ocean to form
From head to toe.
I was breathing just fine sunken under
Because my brain has already deteriorated to nothing.
And my bones are like chalk.
Write a sentence about
why the willow tree looked so sad.
You said that it's hard to keep your head up in a constant down pour, which I didn't understand until now.
And Sometimes I wonder if your touch is merely my Imagination pulling a facade on me.
But when I look down there's a hand print that screams your name in my face.
Screams words of false hope that I know already.
I'll fold myself into a square.
Place this figure in a box unknown and burry it 6 feet under.
A place to hide away from the rain.

The re-echoes of words you once said bounce around my body from bone to bone, trying to find a place to escape
And The chattering sound of your words rattling around inside me
keep me up at night and I can hear people talk about the pushing on my ribcage
they can see the words imprinted onto my skin and they won't shut up with their constant conversation
about the time you told me you loved me
And the words rip through my skin like the arrows stabbing into the props you practice with
hit or miss but you hit me Everytime And now that I think about it I was only one of your props to throw out after awhile

Unquenchable vitality
Coming off as cold
Certain detaining gestures I've made
Push you away
You recite the words I've heard before
Over and over
"You're a heartless soul"
But this myopia is dark
If I can't see you far, how do I bring light to you.
Like the Light that flashes on the delicate curve of stars I can not touch
The re - echoes of sounds deep down
And through my scowled flushed face
Maybe you'll understand how being heartless is only a protection for me