It's gonna be okay, it's just rain.
Because i don't want to get wet.
I always keep dry under my umbrella.

Anonymous. 12/14/2015.
©2015 Trevon S. Haywood.

I wrote a perfect poem once. I scribbled it down on the back of a half used napkin. It wasn't short and is wasn't long. The lipstick laced food marks couldn't taint what was already perfect. There was no love and no sadness in the words. It embodied only emptiness - it's most pure form. Nothing left wanting, no thirst unquenched.

In a moment of clear sight, I knew only the right words were forming. In that moment the half empty bar around me sunk, drowned, imploded and combusted - for all I cared. I had just written a masterpiece.

Day and night
It was your drug
You consumed it
Addicted to the feeling it gave you
this high
Couldn't reach this peak even if you lived in the sky
But suddenly and abruptly it was detached away
Now you feel the side effects
And your body aches
Your appetite for food gone
Sweats in the midnight hour keeps you awake
Like a fein
You sit in the corner shivering and shakes
Depression has become the breath you take
You stop looking in the mirror
Your reflection says you were the mistake
Carelessly you got hooked on love
It gave you life
Now you know it can kills
The side effects from love just makes you feel ill

Truly*,
There is a war inside my heart.
I hear the crash of hurt feelings hit my chest with sharp pains.
I feel the pain of bullet holes pierce my memories.
For all the times I wish I would have pulled the trigger.
I hear the screams of agony from the broke heart that lies in my chest.
I guess Im trapped in my own hell.
The hell of myself.

I am getting out of here tonight
I have no plan
I have no idea what I am going to do once I get there
All I know is that I am going to England tonight
I have one carry on bag with me
I have my purse on my right shoulder
a Starbucks latte in my left hand
and my phone in the back of my jeans pocket
I have three minutes to board my flight
or else my chances of escaping are gone
I don't know where I am going to stay once I get there
Right now I don't care
I just need to go
I have a broken heart
A soul suffocating and craving adventure
I need to go to a place where no one absolutely knows me
No one knows my past
No one knows my name
No one knows the secrets I hide
No one will know about my suicide attempt two nights ago
No one will know anything
I have one minute
I am running through the airport now
My latte is pouring all over my hands
I hear my heart beating in my ears
as the rest of the world goes silent
Suddenly!!!! I am in slow motion
ENGLAND
It has been my dream to go there for as long as I can remember
I am almost to the gate
Last call
Do I make it...?