She's in her Kansas bed filled with
Straw of yellow gold
Staring at the empty ceiling
She wishes she was home
Shoes of ruby click three times

She is already there the

Sickness remains

Give me something to hold on to
Other than repeating the same
Mistakes

Why do I do this to myself
I do it all of the time
You put me back on your shelf
So then I'm hurt and "remember to Rhyme!"

Is it for the sake of art
Or is it for the sake of love?

I try so hard
But still get none
I try so hard
But I'm still not numb

I'm just dumb
You see at the end of the day I'm just a stupid girl


caught up in compulsion
Stuck in the current of the muddy waters of her own mind
She screams and screams
But the thoughts still take her away

They take her away and she loses herself

Obsessed with another one
Not a man
But an idea

I can't help it
They all only give me so much
I can't help it
They never want to stay
I can't help it
I only want to be enough
I can't help it
I call it love
But it's not the same

I'm good at making lines
and never ending them
Forever swinging on
life's daft pendulum
Even in the ice and snow
A girl like me is never cold
Even when there's nothing left to give
And nothing left to show
No pen to write with
and I'm all alone  

I'm good at making lines and never ending them.

Staring at the ceiling wanting to go to Bed
I could start to fall asleep now if I could only find my
Head

Lead
In my mechanical pencil trying to fit inside your picture perfect stencil
I color you in

Are we ghosts or are we just animals?

Playing in the attic
watching stale t.v.
Television stattic
The best thoughts - they come at 3AM
When no one is awake because no one has taken them

It's something beautiful that no one wants
Dandelion ****
My brain is empty most of the time but wakes and knows when to feed

We all just tell people what they want to hear
We're just going through the motions
I'd rather die than work 9-5
Strap bricks to my feet and throw me in the ocean

Let the waves crash over my
head

Are we ghosts or are we animals?

Are we really alive or are we
dead?

Pink downy flakes on a baked orange florescent
Drifting calmly into the night
The day has ended
Smooth and lazy
Like a tabby on a sultry summer afternoon
And it feels like tenderness or nostalgia
Or a dream
the tranquility of a light breeze
trees of deep mantis green and birds of all kinds
Sing a lullaby
As crickets come out for the finally
The world floats into sleep

Let the salt seep sting
Ms.mahogany eyes
and it's a godsend
recoil in position
stuck down in-between the cracks

*and she's never coming back.

To calm a beast
To wash the dirt out of southwest
To soothe the raging storm
To move bones and black poison
To quiet a locomotive mind
To be the sunshine in California
On your winters day
I promise I will

I think I've lost it
My creative spark
I try to be different
But **** that **** is hard
You have to write
They tell me things about
Running water and faucets
But I swear to you it's turned off
because
I really think I've lost it

I'm a wondering man
Who doesn't know what love really means
I'm too young to be done but too old to be seen
I'm obsessed with a woman -
She loves drugs,
but she doesn't love me.
I wonder too much.
I wonder about God, the stars, and trust.
I don't know where I'm gonna go
Not enough room to roam
Hotel lights all alone
"You're addicted to your telephone."
Black out make out and repeat
All in the search for a new love..
I face defeat.
I wonder on.
I wonder on.
I wonder on.

my little blue boy
In the cardstock full moon
Don't you know you always go away too soon?
It's like looking through glasses too strong of a prescription
The lines are all hung up tangled and torn
Mismatched worn
right down to the umbilical cord
From a dusk morning
To a dawn night
Ugly ducklings not too ready for flight
And I'm singing a song to you
(Not that you can hear it
But I'm singing)

I used to be gorgeous at one time
With long flowing dark deep hair
And skin and eyes to match
Then one day
My skin grew pale
My eyes stale
And my smile corroded away

Maggots in my sockets and
Bugs squirming through my thoughts

All beauty gets wasted

And I was intoxicated too

In today's society
You need one of three things
For success

Money
              A high IQ
                                  American Beauty

Those who have all three -

Are GODS.






...
(The artists are left to die)

One plus one doesn't always equal two
Because he calls me when he's been drinking
Even if he's with you
He tells me my flower is beautiful rare and exotic
And that my insanity is too
Oh how he'd love to love me
Because we are stuck in the quick sand
Flies in the honey
And maybe it's just too easy
And just too hard
Not to stop
The more you fight it the deeper you sink
The more you fight
The deeper you sink
I'm going to die
Here
Stuck on one plus one

The salt water washed away my face
As I made love to the man in the moon
In a gentle tide
I felt out of place
From the turbulence of the open sea chaos was my life
But his light bathed me

The sea glowed with a somber incandescence
The sea calmed almost to a halt
The sea slowly simmered within me
Burning

Me and The Moon

The storm was finally gone

Inspiration has left me
begging for some pain.
I just don't care anymore,
waiting day by day.
The sun breaks through the clouds.
Faces are so pristine.
you won't read this anyway,
no one will,
because happy moments
never ever create anything as beautiful as
a feeling of melancholy gray.

She sets her life up for failure
And
Now she waits for inspiration

I do not know what to write
I have not for days or months or years
Or since I was born
Because
Some people wish to be free
I do not

I am afraid

I look in the mirror and I freeze
Captivated by my flaws
My ego sneers
"You're not good enough"
"You'll never be good enough"
"No talent no job no lover no family no meaning no purpose no life"

"No wonder why everyone leaves you"

And for a second
My sadness makes me feel real
And
Relatable
Because I am not an
extraordinary beautiful crestfallen angel


I am just a girl who writes ****** poems at 3:30 AM



But still it's the
mild differences
that make me feel
so alone

Your face is so clear
It's almost blank
Cold hard see-through
Looking glass
I stare through you
to the other side of the world
I can see the gases of Venus
Smooth and milky
Swirling and colliding with each other
as if the whole planet may just melt
away

Maybe when I'm dead is when I'll be discovered
"Miss Walts of the technical age"
Someone will find my art and say "wow she really got it she really had it you know she was brilliant, a genius, truly great"
The best version of myself will then be shown
The romantized self analyzed by doctorates and lab coats
They'll all wonder what I really mean
And I'll be gone
Gone so they can't ask me
They'll mold me into a piece they really want
After death I'll return as a pawn
Crooning the voice of the people of our age
We all scream
"I'm not good enough
And because of this I cannot do a thing!
I can only make art from depressive relief.
Society is telling me everything to believe.
I can't think for myself for the life of me do not ask me a question because I never think!"
A self medicated self asbsorbed zombie
"No one has it worse than me."

I don't have much of a picture to paint

You think I'll never be enough
Because I can't relate

Artists have been famous for much less

Because sometimes it's the simple ones that are the

Best

You take her to an action movie
And take her to dinner
Then you drive her home
And you talk about the movie  
And laugh

It's always red hot fun
Touching a burner when your mother told you not to

It's the same every weekend
Sometimes she starts a fight about pigs, pearls, and forgotten dates
You don't listen

You both only ever saw glass
Thick, dark, and impermeable

you never thought to ask
why we never fall in love anymore

But it's just fine
When you're bored
There's always another waiting

The violin played
as I remember,
A past life.
Under a full man in a moon
with
the slight sent of roses in the air.
Pink roses.
baby pink melodies
pink blushing of my cheek
where a gaze meant more
where gossamery touches was the world.
Your hand.
Mine.

does She capture fireflies
with Her smile
or is it the way She talks about God?
Her fields grow high untouched
with wildflowers and sunlight
She is a goddess at best
everything pure
treat Her kindly for
She is the giver of life

A writer for the right
But what if the write
is wrong?

and it doesn't matter
if anyone reads this or
not

It shall be a part of her soul
captured in words
Left behind for the world
Turning herself into something
more

tangible
something more real
something you can hold
something you can feel.

simply because no one else would,

and one day her soul will be all used up.

She is my oldest friend
With eyes like windows
To her soul
And a heart like thick white paste glue

Sticking to anyone who dares to touch it

(The young kindergarten boys who ate it
Because it smelled good and **** it back out again
And that one girl with a polka dot face
Always got it in her hair)

She is my dearest friend
Tired and weary
From holding up the earth
On her turtle shell back
She takes small planned breaks from the world
In 5 minute intervals
And pretends they are vacation

Everyone tells her she's worth more
her eyes say she feels alone
I try to tell her she's not alone as well

But of course I am talking to
myself

Oh the purest cleanest coldest
Water you could ever drink
Holy and infinite
Melting from Himalaya glaciers
Bathe in it
drown in it
Scrub your body clean
Scrub hard until all that is left
Is smile and shine
Scrub smile shine

The trees will take away your demons
The birds they will sing of you
And everything you accomplished
Have no worries because you all will be successful

From the worms fertilizing moist dark soil
To the tree that grows tall and sturdy from a small seedling within
To the birds that make their nest in the tree and from love hatches an egg

You are all meant to be

You and I
Me and you
we all keep going
living our lives
believing everyone in the world are
like night and day
but believing this
I do suppose
makes us
same.

You're not a real boy you're just an idea
This is all in my head
(And in my head I'm still crazy about you
And you're still crazy)
In real life I am

The mad one. The sad one. The bad one.

The fly buzzing in your ear
The pebble in your shoe
A grain of salt
Red meat still with the skin
A flickering light bulb just about to
go out

Matter taking up too much space
Matter that doesn't matter

And sin
And *nothing

You can be there
and still be here,
but you can't be here
and still be there.

So meet me half-way
and together we'll stay
on a soft heart melody
melting.
peculating down into the porous
Earth.

There's nothing to write anymore
No great wisdom to be found
Everything has been said
Happy or sad
Alive or dead

The philosophers', poets', and politicians'
Words live on till the earth's end

And my name will drift then drown in silence on
A whisper
On one last breath

Oh keep telling yourself
the cup is half full
keep pretending
pretending you're no
small minded fool
smile and smile away
smile until your smile fades...

Walk down the road of the starving artist
No friends
And drugs are harmless
We eat rats
We are rats
Lurking and observing
Everyone and everything

Peculiar and particular
Is how many describe my taste
For if you are not
Perfect
You are a ******* waste.

Shatter that glitter
Dark blue glass
Christmas bulb
And I'll pray they all go out
All at once
Leaving eyes blind as they should be
Blind as you should be
Sitting there with your nothing
Muttering to yourself in the pitch
Saying something about how I don't understand
And
something about how I lie
If you were awake
at least half as awake as you say you are
It wouldn't take so long to pull the sleep out of your eye
It wouldn't take so long
even in the dark
to see

There's a power in solitude
When your words can drift in
the wind to be lost forever
To be alone with your thoughts and
to not go insane
To look straight in the eyes of the sun and not
be blinded by brightness

power is not paper

Power is to be alone
and not feel lonely

You're just a rat in the drain
guilty with no pain
If they're against you
they're insane
Riot and riot away
because the truth behind the puppet show
is not so hard to see
The truth behind the puppet show is the puppeteer is
me
cold ****** killers and reality TV

Just another raindrop in the rain
Just another person
lifeless and plain.
Just another drag to take me away.
Just another patient awaiting cancer and pain.
Just another weight to bare
Just another "I don't care"...
Just another wasted life

I can't tell you what it is
Impatiently waiting for the floor to fall from under my feet
constantly worry
about incomplete
can't compete
everything is


obsolete.

Just another raindrop in the rain
it trickles down the window pane

1.
I need a spark
To start a fire
One last fight
For one last poem
My muse
Will no longer
Be of flesh and blood

2.
And then God said so it shall be
The sky
The earth
The trees
The water
Fire

3.
Only nature
Can give me meaning
When I am alone

Words are power
And my power

*Is limitless

Some
Bleed blue
a bitter cold
river that drifts along ever slowly
Ever peaceful
Filled with thousands of perfect downy pebbles
each the exact shape and size
as the last
it trickles down all of the hills and mountains
to lower ground

Iced and frigid
It comes from the heart
to the vein and artery
to the lung
around the stomach and intestines
up the spine
down the spine

to the wound.

I buy petty impedimenta
for maximum price

whoever carries it
goes thin and floppy like rubber

so they bend and I bend
but will never

*break

****** vain eye
like a crimson sunset sky
and I'm so ordinary
just like all of you
madmen and doctors
both put comfort
in that their pain is
unique
no one could understand
this stereotypical
cold cold winter
hypothermia raindrops
all is empty howling wind
only crestfallen souls
shells of bodies
roam

You are the fish in the sea
But
I am a bird.
And a pigeon at that.
Not even a gull.
But
The gull will probably gut you.
I mean eventually,
will.

If Earth could speak
Would it believe
The relationship with the human race is
Parasitism

If Earth could speak
Would it say
It is suffering
Dying

If Earth could speak
Would it ask
For help

Are humans a burden to the Earth
Or is the Earth a burden to humans

Destruction is needed for creation
Or is there something much bigger at play?

Bigger than sea, space, and partnerships

The earth speaks
The universe speaks


Human consciousness


Be kind to Earth
But never undermine existence

He's a sigh the wind carried away

Faint and distant
Like letting three words
linger too long on a quiet breath

Barely there

No one hears and they disappear

you know they were real...

...Warm and solid
Heated by the spit under your tongue.

Quick and sudden
He melts on my tongue

In a short subtle embrace
relief comes in the strangest wave

And I sigh