i. the curly, green-haired
leo with the cry-baby tattoo
on her left calf; fish net stockings and
loud guitar playing and
menthol cigarettes. driving through
the park at 9 pm, ***** shots,
the white house with the a-frame roof,
hugs that made your heart feel as warm
as she did

crying as i left my room again to be
intertwined with a girl who did not love me, but i wanted to;
months pass, lonely car rides with
one-sided conversations and
seven years gone,
quiet disconnection
that made you feel as cold
as i did

ii. brown eyes, brown skin,
round glasses and chicago streetlights.
holding each other close on the subway
lakehouse parties in the beginning of spring and
pisces season and tarot readings and
soft kisses on the train.
holding hands at the aquarium,
sweet poetry and calm and
a sense of oneness that made you feel
important

hurt for the third time
a panic, a loss
i held their heart in my hands and
let it fall
harsh
unimportant
i still carry the guilt on my fingertips

iii. short hair. freckled cheeks, i
fell in love with the way the skin
crinkled around her eyes when she smiled.
an apartment, a home built
around our lips touching
wrapped in blankets on the couch,
dense smoke and her hand on my leg while she
drove. chinese food and
waking up against her chest and
laughing so hard
my ribs hurt

crashing. her anger withering away my
heartstrings; pain and
crying alone in the bathtub
moving away
drunk tears on the interstate
punching my thighs
in place of the way her
words made
me hurt

It's lmost eight (8pm),
And as usual you are late,
Am sitting outside waiting for you,
It's drizzling like the morning dew,
Cool breeze, swaying trees, mind locked,
On some memories that shocked,
Remembering the incidents of your change,
Stepping away and ruling out a range,
I wonder what has come in between,
You always treated me like your queen,
Now you come home late to avoid our talks,
Often quite not even interested in evening walks,
I feel alone, distant and neglected,
It doesn't matter cause you have selected,
A new toy for your entertainment,
Little do you know that its affecting our commitment,
It's okay I have made a decision to let you go,
For your life is no longer meant for me so,
Tonight am waiting for you, to handover,
All you gave and say that it's over,
If ever he might need me back,
He would understand and track,
The reasons that drew me out from his life,
As of now, he would no longer have me as his wife...


©sim