8.1.14 I felt my ancestors whisper through the trees, their cold, dead fingers running over me grasping firmly at my memory, blowing the tears from my cheeks.
The forrest watches over their grave as God could clearly not have seen through the canopy
I've got a hole in my chest where my heart should beat, and cigarette smoke where my lungs should breathe; and as my veins over-flow with pure alcohol- it's clear that sin owns my body and also my soul.
I can't look people in the eye- I know that it's a flaw of mine; but he stroked my face and made it rise- so that his gaze could meet my eyes; and that look, that stare, it bore a hole- that saw deep down inside my soul.
*[To see and be seen; I think I'll make a little more eye contact]
The time had come to submit to an urge I'd long denied. Wanted to stop the crushing pain with a method not yet tried. So that night I took four Ambien- didn't care if I lived or died; and I slipped into a deep, dark sleep- my fleeting suicide.