I want gold to drip from my tongue.
As if to drench my words with importance.
I want it to leak out and sit atop my head like a crown.
When I speak to you with kindness,
When I speak to you with love,
to show that I am no longer bowing down.
Because I am dipped in gold and a queen of sunshine.
And I will no longer let memories of you steal the warmness inside me-
My hands may still be cold
But I have a fire heart that you can no longer put out.

- for all the boys who try to make you fall to your knees remind them you are a force to be reckoned with.

I cracked open your chest
and crawled inside
Trying to get your heart beating again
falling into a dead man's arms
helped me understand
That trying to make a home - out of empty skin
would leave me with nothing
but blood-stained hands that would never scrub clean.
These same hands that will shake
as I beg for forgiveness to all those who come after me-
a quiet confession to all the girls I couldn't save.
And the girl before me,
with the same shaking hands and dead eyes.
She wept for you
and for me
an angel crying before the devil.
And we will seek absolution before God
we will count our sins and say our 100 Hail Marys
our praise be to him.
In an attempt to atone for the sin-
and rid our souls of only the grief,
a dead man can leave.

The truth was painful, so you buried it
Dug a hole into the earth six feet deep
Nestled it right beside your childhood
Threw some dirt upon its coffin and fashioned a crude cross out of bones and teeth

In death, Truth is just as ugly as it was in life
But you feel safe with it out of sight
You loosen the fist you weren’t aware you were making
You tend to the ****** red crescents from where they’re branded into your palm
You say a few words but what words are left when they’re buried below your feet?

You tell yourself it was a kindness
You swear to yourself that it was a means to an end
But there was no justice when you held its life in your hands
No mercy when you buried your fangs in it’s heart

You convince yourself that it was an act of love
“The truth is painful” and “the world is ugly”
Without the truth, you believe maybe there’s still some beauty in the world
Can convince yourself that the blood red rose on an unmarked grave is a sign you were right

Six feet under, Reality is weeping.

there are so many beautiful pieces of me I can't let you touch

because what if it's my problems

that come spilling out instead?

I am wilderness set out in stone
a journey never taken to its end.
You were hope and a wayward glance
remembering all that was cast.
(is paved with good intentions)