the internet ruined love

always the child
who never got appreciated
just an unwanted child
trying her hardest
to be the perfect one—
just once.
trying her hardest
to be appreciated,
dying to hear:
“you did a great job,”
“the dish you cooked was very nice,”
“i’m proud of you,”
“you scored 98% in maths,”
“i’m proud of my daughter.”
she just wanted
to be loved.
to be seen.
to be appreciated.

My heart was unoccupied
My soul long since died
I thought I would always feel bare
Until you were there

Your hand in mine
The feeling is simply sublime
Your touch covers my face
As all of my problems erase

Your eyes are the most beautiful things I have seen
This love I had not foreseen
My dear, you are all that I crave
I will love you until we are in the grave

i wish you'd write back to me 7.19.25 5:39 pm /17:39
oh, -------,
sometimes i wish you would write a letter back to me.

sometimes i wish you would log onto your old macbook
instinctively go to hellopoetry.com
type in my ariana grande username
find me and my words
find it, these lost sentences,
these trembling letters
i've been trying to send you.

i see why you don't-
the fear that maybe,
one day,
we will wake up and realize we don't love each other
that we don't know each other like we think
we do.

i haven't sent you a letter
because i don't want you to know but i want you to know
that i love you
but what if, what if, what if
one day i don't?

the uncertainty of being not torn apart
but drifting
finding someone new and
figuring out ourselves, finally,
finding that we don't need each other anymore.

of course that's not why you love me
or why i love you

i get that
i get that fear.

but you are not afraid
because you don't even know
that this whole time

i have been screaming
your name.

i drain him.
i know it.
and still,
i stay.

i say i’m trying,
but really,
i’m cracking.
i’m drowning
with his lungs
in my chest.

next i’ll bleed
through his arms,
sob
through his eyes,
wreck
what’s left
of his heart.

i was never
meant
to be held.

Someone once told me,
"You’re shining. Even if it doesn’t always feel that way."
I in fact, have been feeling that way.

I sit and think about all the pain and problems I've gone through.
Thinking before, "I'm so done. What am I gonna do.??"
I now say to myself "I am so strong for keeping up and fighting my hardest. "

"I'm
so
proud
of
you."

Time is slow, time is fast.
It never stops, but it always lasts.
It's time for bed, it's time for school.
To waste your time is to be a fool.

If the time is right, the timing will be perfect.
Having the time of your life will always be worth it.
Some spend their time mad,
Some spend their time sad.
For some people time is all they ever had.

Some spend their time and some people save it.
Some love wasting time and some people hate it.
People waste time being in jail
People waste time being mad when they fail.

Some people have lots of time to spare.
Others spend their time not having a care.
It's time to stop, it's time to go.
Time can move fast or it can move slow.

You can lose yourself or lose your mind,
But as life goes on you will never lose time.