You are this certain factor
     In withdrawn I love you-s,
A constant, nonpareil kick in my blood,
My veins, knowing full well
These distentions, the holy perfusion,
A cardiomegaly which ever so sweeten
     Like a plump fruit.

You accentuate all the divinities
I long longed for, slowly,
     Infused within me.

Now this is love,
And love is nothing else...
     ...but you, but God.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

There's never a perfect time for a guest to arrive.
Unannounced, you didn't even knock when you said you want to help me.
I stopped being a charity case the second I picked myself off the floor.
Breathless, gasping for a reprieve,
I told myself I need all the patience my body and I can give myself.
I lifted myself off the floor
where I had earlier found pleasure in the depths of my mind,
in the arms of a neglected fantasy.
You're here uninvited, but I'd like you to stay.
Look at the peeling walls of my home and love them.
Love me or leave me.

I remember,
once upon a Frankenstein,
how divine the memory
that sublimates the truth.

Monsters hide and bide their time,
electrically
comes Frankenstein.

Misunderstood, but
he looks good in
nuts and bolts,
ten million volts?

I'd be looking that way too
if only Frankenstein could tell
me what to do.

In the mean and I mean
mean,
I dream of
Monsters,
they dream
of me.

Here's the thing--
I don't like to lie.
So, if you asked me where I am from,
I'd have to assess you and your prejudices before announcing in a single breath --

"I am a Malayali from Bombay raised in Saudi Arabia."

My identity comes in as a triple threat.
And people treat me like an escaped convict
"Oh, how many burqas do you own?"
"Four, and they're still not enough to save me from your ridiculous questions."

I don't like to lie.
So, I'll tell you I've had a terrible day
and the best thing that happened to me today was lunch.

I will voluntarily admit that my feet hurt in those shoes
And I'd rather be at home.
But, my pen refused to stop writing.

I choose not to wrap my truths in acceptability
Because my identity does not need to be graded
(not like I deserve less than an A+)
I decided to let my bottom sit on a throne in my own mind
Rather than at the feet of self-proclaimed lords of the universe
I'll fix my sights on what's here today.

I'm a queen of my own will;
Of shoes that fit
and jeans that never will.

I am also confused and I write to confuse some more.
Maybe I'll just wrap myself in words
And hand myself over to you and say --
"Congrats! It's a story."

(20 minute poetry)

Stupid in the tube again,
sardines,
but no brains and then the
key turns on this can
and I swim out.

A crowd in here and I
can't hear myself think out aloud in here
and it smells a bit like I smell on a
Saturday morning when I've been
through some hell the night before.

I wonder what I do this for,
step inside the tube and hold the rail beside the door,
there really must be something more
to life than this, but if there is I haven't found it yet.

I'll get off at my stop and do it all again.

A sardine,
but
no
brain.

What is the cost of using up all your courage before you think you really need it?
You have nothing to lose so you pull off things you're not sure you can handle anymore.
Your heart has gone down a road
that you cannot walk back on.
You're blinded in a city that's got nothing but darkness to offer.
Your heart's not in the right place,
but you're hoping the light at the end of a tunnel is not an urban myth.
You dream of the eyes that were your only light when you could see.
You let it fill you up.
So what if you've lost courage?
Find hope.

Life is short, and to think of you,
Long and mad, is to long the longing
     Of long bond papers, stretched,
Untouched and unmolested,
An ice rink awaiting
     Its solitary soul.*

© 2015 J.S.P.