Am i exaggerating?
Due to all the friends I've lost,
all the things I've gone through.
Is it all because of me?
Am i manipulative?
Am i toxic?
I try my hardest to keep them and love them with all of my heart.
and they still leave.
I am not good enough.
In my heart, i know it is not me.
but sometimes it is better to think as myself as the bad guy.
Because i'm tired of being the one who keeps getting hurt.

Feb.2019

I am a leaf
Flimsy and death bound,
Waiting for the grief
When i float to the ground.
I am a fallen life
Brittle and soon to die,
The cold stabs with its knife.
The wind makes me fly
It shoves me through the air
With it’s taunts that get me to weep
Eventually i will tear
And go to an endless sleep
Another leaf broken
Because it was left open

I can never sleep
When midnight thoughts fill my brain
Until the morning.

Nobody knows,
the way her heart beats to the rhythm of a rhyme,
moving to the sway of a song.
Or the way her words unravel on the unborn pages that hatch in her head.
Like the pockets of seeds that settle in the late spring.
They pop,
and grow.
yet she doesn't grow.
A seed unhappy, unkempt, unloved.
Like a thorn in her side, a rock on her feet.
It encases her,
drowns her, until she suffocates.
Unable to hide from her true being.
Deformed and broken with her scars that sear.
From stares, she stumbles.
Anxious, envious, and cowardly.
Courageous, only in appearance,
When all she can do is choke on her words.
Nobody knows.