Is this more than you bargained for?
Was I too much of an explosion?
Too risky an adventure?

You should have known
I would be too much
For your weak hands to handle

I have an entire universe within me

Warm summer days
A serene ocean breeze
And stunning sunsets

But I also carry

The weight of the night
The loneliness of the moon
And the ache of a storm

What I'm saying is

I hold the beauty
And I'm worth the chaos

You're just too small for it

Someday when you wake up
My memory will be so overwhelming
That you will feel me everywhere

In your morning cup of coffee
As you´re stuck in the oncoming traffic
Wandering through empty streets
And in the bruises I left under your skin

You will realize
How much you miss my lips
And my eyes will haunt your dreams

The emptiness inside of you
Will be suffocating
And you will feel the hands of my ghost
Around your neck

I want to be
The holy sin
Across your unmade bed
Tangled sheets,
Under hidden skies

Forbidden moments of synchronicity
Exchanged between us
And your heaven-like lips

A devilish prayer
With god in our moans

*While your hands say **** religion

I fell in love with his mind
Even though it was not romantic
But rather raw and unforgiving
There was nothing sweet in his eyes
Or in the way he looked at me
They weren't filled with honey
But with something rather deep
That kind of resembled whiskey
I could never decide
If it was god on his lips
Or the devil in his smile
I just know I craved it
Unreservedly
His fingertips across my skin
His lips against my neck
And the heart shaped bruises
He left there
Were almost a toxic combination
Like raging fire
Only non consuming

But rather devouring

He will lift you
Rapidly
Into the clouds
Making it feel like fate
As if the clouds
Were really going to hold you
Up there with him
Silly you
People like him
Aren't supposed to stay
They’re made to drift and wander
And when they move on
You can bet you’ll feel
Every **** second from that fall
And you’ll wonder all the way
Why the ******* let him take you up that high
When you’re afraid of heights
Every second will feel
Both extremely fast and eternal
And believe me
You will wish for it to end
To hit the ground
Even if you dread the pain
That’ll come when you do
You’d rather feel everything
So that it may break
Even the last piece of you
That has been tainted by him
But you’ll wish for the eternity in seconds too
Just so you can keep holding on
To a last piece of him
Something that says,

*"Even if only for a minute, I was with you, and you won’t forget"

Do not fall in love with the girl who writes
Unless you want to know hell first hand
She'll make you burn and bring you to ashes
And the worst part is
You won't mind burning at all

She's allergic to routine
Impossible to decipher
Something she takes as a compliment
She's June mornings and December nights
A rare mixture of sins and innocence
And impossible in every possible way

She's the type of girl you'll never forget
And you wont even want to
It'll be a roller coaster
You'll have sunny days laying on the beach
And others were the sea will drown you
You'll feel invincible
As if you have it all
Because you have her

Until she leaves
Without saying why
Or even goodbye
Her departure is something you'll never get over
Her smile will haunt you every day
You'll wake up from nightmares from the day she left
Screaming her name at 4 am
With the echo of her loss
Still resonating through your bedroom walls

*But you'll still believe they are dreams

Do you know that feeling?
Where you're so drunk
You can't see,
You can't speak
You can't even think
A coherent thought,  your mind cannot form.
It's as if time had been stopped, frozen
It's just you and that moment
Where everything that's haunting you,
leaves.
The dizziness, pain and alcohol, have consumed your whole being
And you're finally in that state, where nothing exists.
No feelings, non at all.

But then everything comes back
And you're left in your alcoholic misery

But that moment suspended in time, makes it all worth it.
And you know you would do anything
To once again fill the void
For the numbness to return
Make it all become a blur
And maybe this time
His face you won't recall

Never have I felt worse

I keep telling myself
That everything's just fine
Without you by my side
But my soul still aches
Every time I see your face
Because it reminds me
That my arms
Will never again hold you

I've been smiling a bit brighter
Laughing a little louder
Yet crying a lot harder
And it is slowly killing me

It takes ten times longer
To put myself together
After each time I break
No matter how hard I try
I keep coming back

I told you once
You were like a drug
Well it is hard not to relapse

The days pass fast
But there's no way I can get rid off
This thoughts of you
Keeping me up late
Through this endless nights

Never
Will you ever
Have me back
But I know you wish you did
I was your first everything
I showed you
What love was about
I taught you pain
And ache as well
But you know I was well **** worth it
And even though you act
As if you are over me
Deep down
You know good as ******* aren't
You may kiss her lips
And hold her waist
But don't dare deny
You wish it was me every time

He seems all tough
With his messy hair
And hard deceiving eyes
Lit cigarette, bottle in hand
Pure trouble at sight
He is a dark mystery
One I've always wanted
To figure out
But his heart is a shield
He won't let me go near
In the end, he may just be
Another soul, afraid to feel

You look so calm
So composed
As if I didn't affect you
In anyway
While I can't help
But breakdown
Whenever you're around
I thought I had to accept the fact
That I missed you
And you didn't miss me back
But the only difference
I've come to find
Is you've learned to hide it
Much better than I

We started off
With simply written words
Daily talks and warm embraces
And sentences we formed
It was your kisses then
That made me forget about everything else
Even myself
Until verses we made
But it wasn't until our souls
Merged into one
With our bodies as obstacles
And our lips as means
That a poem we became
Although now
It pains me to say
That all we had, all we were
Has slowly turned
Into just another
Sad nostalgic
Thought

We are over, we are through
Funny how we promised to last
I guess we both meant
Only for a night
Finally gone is your ghost
I must say it was for the best
The memories we made
Will forever with me stay
They are sweeter than you ever were

I knew you were a mess
You told me so
But I still came close

You were like a puzzle, that I wanted to fix
But you warned me
There was a missing piece

You said you had sharp edges
I said I was attracted to those
With dripping blood

You said your mind was dark
And still I tried to enter
But I think I went in too deep

Darkness consumed me
And in the end
I could never be your missing piece

It makes me feel alive
The way you used to

It burns as it runs through my veins
But I liked it better when you were the one giving me warmth

It keeps me sane. It keeps me together
But I still wish it was your voice telling me it would all get better

It makes me forget, at least for a while
It is the only escape I've found

You ask why I get intoxicated every night
The only answer I can give, is to get your ghost away from me