you bathe in your grief til it evaporates

i refuse to feel; i leave it cold and gray

that's how your sorrow slowly fades away

while mine just sinks deeper each day

you wash your wounds with tears at night

i refuse to even expose mine to light

you heal by drowning, i chose to stay

till the waters slowly take my breath away

I've counted the days in whispers,
measuring the silence between us like broken glass.
You linger like the petrichor after the rain,
a reminder of something that should've been washed away.

I've traced your name in dust,
the even consonants and odd vowels.
hoping the wind would carry it,
and let it vanish the way we did.

I look for you in crowded rooms,
like a dream I never wished to wake from.
but I just find you in my thoughts,
you come back too often, too close.

so if you're not mine to keep,
may God keep you away from me.

there was a melody once,
caught in the back of my throat,
a tune I never let escape.

it lingered, soft as a whisper,
waiting for the moment to rise,
but I swallowed it whole.

because the orchestra's packed up,
the stage is left bare,
and the songs have been exhausted.

so now, it hums in silence,
slowly fading thin—
the song I forgot to sing.

sometimes, it feels so strange. these waves of emotions,
they rearrange. droplets from my eyes fall and drown
everyone, big or small. so i close my eyes and take flight
into my room, away from sight, and let myself be swept
away in the corners where shadows play.

but sometimes, i leave a crack, a tiny gap for a little slack;
hoping someone hears the taps, and follows the sound of
my gentle raps. they'd bring a boat to where i stay; no need
to lift me from the fray. just let me hold on, and stay afloat.
above the waves, i'll gloat.

so if you hear the tippy taps, can you come with a boat,
perhaps?

i used to cry when nights were long.
when insomnia creeps in, everything feels wrong;
but honey, now that you're mine to keep,
my dopamine's too high - i can't even sleep.

but no, i don't shed tears anymore.
instead, i savor your smile and the rizz that you pour.
in still nights, i count our blissful memories;
the peace you bring means a lot to me.

i used to cry when i couldn't sleep.
now, i have become too happy to weep.

Ω

they see the facade, the academic veneer,
but the truth lies hidden, only i hold it dear

the world believes success is all i chase
but i question if i’m running in the right race
i question what truly this journey is worth
am i just building castles on this shifting earth?

amidst textbooks and deadlines, i quietly yearn
for answers not found in a grade i might earn
will this path i’ve chosen be my true fate?
or will i wake up one day, realizing it’s too late?

so when they call me hardworking and bright,
i smile on the surface, hide my inner fight
for behind the facade, the mask i wear,
lies a soul pleading,
“Lord, hear my prayer.”

Ω