if it were so simple
to backspace myself
     into oblivion
              than
I’d have done it
long ago.
      where words
             and pills and
your boxcutter
would never hurt
     as much as
              living.

i took root. settled into birthdays without
fathers,
men attempting to reckon with me. saying they'd
like to hold me like the crescent moon against the black
(i am the night light that ran out of life)
texting me, texting me, texting me,
coaxing me out of my cave
and then shooting me in the back,
blowing out the candles, snuffing my breath.
the hunt, the chase, the game.
i'm stuck in this trap for another year

Gentle drops of crystal
Rain over
to wash me clean

Being over driven by youthful desires
She fell asleep with her tears on fire
Will she live to tell another tale of heartbreak?
Will she live to see through the fake?
Who knows?
Her heart, unfortunately, grows
Her blood oozing out of her wrists
Her dreams became brutal from being bliss
"Why was I so stupid?" she sleep-talks
"Someone, please pull that trigger!" she sleep-walks

The anxiety for morning to reach died
The thought of a future became pesticide
For the only future she knew was with him..
The blade made love to her from her shoulders down to her limbs
Until there was no more pleasure to escape through her veins, through her skin
She lost... But what did he win?
Nothing but absolute guilt, at her funeral, where he looked above
And only remembered her sweet gesture of; "Give me Love"

-fir.m