You see,
You are like a dandelion seed
Taken away in the breeze
By some kid wishing for world peace
But I'm that stem left selfishly waiting
For your peace in me.

And every time I hear church bells ring
I swear I'm hearing you sing
A little bird with two broken wings
Who flew on the back of this eagle to pick you up off of your feet.

But I flew too far from where you'd want to be
I made you fly when you just wanted to swing
With a chill in your spine
And the clatter of your teeth
I want to be the coat the keeps you warm,
The skin that holds your bones beneath.

But this isn't an insect waiting for pretty wings
It's a soaring eagle who can't feel a thing.
Now you can't feel the wind beneath and you've lost your voice so the world can't hear the song that you sing.

Sometimes it's hard to wake up.
It even open my eyes and face reality
Sometimes, oh, sometimes

It's still hard to find a reason for living
Still hard to find a reason to stay clean.

But I believe there's a loving God who's looking down on me.
He's looking down and He's smiling.
Death won't hold you as tight as He will.

I don't know what you're going through
You don't know what you can make it through.
All I can say, is that I'm right here.

She was just an old woman.
Just like any other I'd ever seen.
But for the first time in my life
I saw a beauty and the details
of what surrounded me.

I can't tell you what voice told me to reach out but I helped this woman.
Something to small and so benign.

"I wish there more out there like you"
She said
Ma'am if only you knew.
If you knew the reason I'm in this bookstore
If you knew the reason I'm in this town, this place at all.
If only you could see past your clearance shelf books and see what monster stands beside you.

God bless you she says.
Her words made me choke, both choke in and choke up.
I wish I could say this is all made up.

You see the reason I'm here
Is because I'm fighting the urge not to die
I'm fighting these feelings of wanting  to get high.

Ma'am if you knew that I'm hear seeking the only friend I have left,
that I'm so desperate for acceptance right now because my life and my plans and my dreams are upside down.

So here I am.
At the end of me.
Ma'am if only you knew.
But the reason I was here
Was to buy 2 books costing as much as the 6 you took.
Ma'am I wish YOU knew how your words shook.
And if I never see you again I hope you got home safe.
I hope you sleep well and dream
I hope my deed and my "god bless you miss" was more than it seemed.
Because I didn't stay to talk,
I didn't tell you you're beautiful.
I didn't tell you anything.
But did my Lord?
Of this I am sure.
I should've told you that you're loved
I should've helped you to your car.
Just Something meaningful
Not so subpar.

Ma'am if only you knew
What I've done to get here.
But I walked away from that store
And I softly and most surely knew
I was at that bookstore, for you.

Dear Weary Soul

Dear weary soul
I hope you know
That my arms are open
Whenever you decide to come back home.
Though you wander and you leave
I'll be the shade to aid your eyes when the sun makes you too blind to see.
Even when you feel like your drowning
You never really sink
I'll hold your head above water until your legs can kick.

There is a love
But it's buried
There is a hope pushed too far down for you to know.
But when you lift your chin from your chest you'll see

I'm still here waiting.

Dear lonely soul
I know it feels like forever
Since you've felt alive
I'll breathe into your lungs for you
And be the air under your arms
Until you learn to fly.
I'll be that goodnight kiss
When you cry yourself to sleep
And I'll be the hand the pulls you out
When you've dug yourself too deep.

Why so downcast oh my soul?

Just tell me you won't go.
Promise me that you won't let go.
That I'm still the apple of your eye
Even when I only pray
For the strength to die.

Oh empty soul
I can tell you it gets better
But I know you still aren't there.
But you aren't just stuck inside an empty body
But I know each scar inside and out and I counted every hair.
Won't you run away with me?
Won't you trust in me?
Why can't you seem to leap
Close your eyes and breath deep,
Let go and fall.
Let go and fall.

You are not a ghost.
You are never alone.
No bag of bones with a spirit,
But a vessel for your soul.

Hold on to me
You're all I have

i promise you
you'll make it through
you've got a whole life
ahead of you
don't let it
go to waste
you've got a bright future
and a beautiful face
don't end it all
because
you want one phase to end
keep fighting
and push through
you'll make it out alive
good as new

Huddled in the lantern light
they sing of life and death
of love long lost but living
in the ashes of time
a yearning for home
walking the long roads sunburnt
in blistered feet
in the knowledge
healing of pain
is only a rain away
and life is too short
but never too short
to bathe in the power of god
that makes a pauper
be a king
under the canopy of stars.