Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Chrissy Jan 2018
I hide behind the synthetic smile I stitched and embroidered  to my face
I smile because I don’t know what’s wrong with me
I don’t know why I’m different
I don’t know why the palms of my hands look the way they do
I don’t know why the skin on my face feels the way it does
I don’t know why my feet wander they way they do
I feel like my body isn’t mine
That like I’m foreign to this world
Like I’m alien
Alien because I don’t fit in
Alien because I stand out
Alien because my own body rejects my life essence
I smile because I don’t want them to ask questions
I don’t want them to **** and pock at me like I’m some science experiment
Or I’m broken and need fixing
I’m broken and need fixing ?
Am I broken and need fixing?
Chrissy Jan 2018
If the ache in the core of my being stops
If my eyes stop flooding dry land
If my mind stops gasping for air
If my sleep becomes tranquil
If I stop thinking your going to walk into my room
speaking the word I longed to hear
"I never left Chris, I'd never leave you"
does that mean its getting better
or does that mean I'm going crazy.
Chrissy Oct 2017
I will catch your falling tears and make them beautiful
I will cup your face in my hands and make you look me straight in the eyes
I will make you forget about your worries
I will kiss your cheeks and give them colour again
I will make your stone cold heart warm again
I will give you hopes and dreams
That's what you said
But what I heard was
I will give you false hopes and dreams
I will give you things only to rip them out of your hands again
I will drain you of all energy you have and make you weak for me
So you will never leave me even though I don't treat you properly
I will catch your falling tears and make you cry some more
All you do is make me worry
Don't you realise with you there is no peace
Chrissy Sep 2017
The tears slowly run down my face
Leaving a wet trail path leading away from my eyes
Dragging away my pain
Pulling the abhorrent images which I have seen
Washing them down my cheeks
Until they drip on the cold ground
Almost in slow motion
As I hear the silent splat of my fears on the pavement.
Chrissy Aug 2017
It's hard to live in a world with so much emotional violence
It's frightening
One minute you can be alive and the next you could be a ticking time bomb
Ready to throw yourself off of a bridge  cause of the words being thrown at you bruising your fragile skin
Or even better yet dead already
Then what?
years , months, even days pass and your nothing but a distant memory in everyone minds
Only remembered when something reminds them of you
Then you realise they never really cared          

I don't want to be like one of the 20 billion that have died without their voices heard
While the people that killed get to walk around free
Is it fun to take dreams , hopes , a life away from someone
How can you live with yourself knowing you killed ?
Or nevertheless contributed to digging someone grave

It's doesn't take physically piercing a knife through someone's heart for them to die
You could just so easily pierce a hole through someones mind
Stabbing their hopes and dreams until they bleed out
Or rip out fleshy the lungs they need to breathe and survive
Taking away the foundation they needed to build an empire
Leaving them have nothing
That's not the kind of person you want to be
The one that kills using words
"Your ugly "
"Worthless "
"Your not going to succeed "
"You can't do it "
"Who do you think you are ?"
"Well , I think I am the daughter of a King and Queen"
"I think I'm beautiful "
"I think I have so much worth it doesn’t have a numerical value"
"I know I'm going to succeed "
"I know I can do it"
Chrissy Jul 2017
I show you what you want to see
I show you what you want to hear
My face , my personality , my smile changes when you a near
It's only to make you like me
Would you run if I showed you the real me
Not that perfect image of me I created to impress you
Would you run if I showed you all my scars that have build up over years
Would you run if I confess to you all the sins I committed ?
Would you run if I tore down the wall that was hiding all my everything ? brick by brick if I reveal myself
Would you run ?
If I removed the mask and stopped the facade and showed you my real feathers in their rough tattered state  
Would
You
Run ?
Chrissy Jul 2017
Paper soulmates
Drawn together by fate
Glued into each other's lives persistently
As we are paper soulmates we are prone wear and tear
Torn paper is truly unfixable
You can only try to sellotape together what has been torn apart
Scrunched paper can't truly be smoothed out again,
there is still going to be evidence of past experience
Our story Inked onto the pages of our body
Stained by water, the ink smudges off of us
Our stories ??
unreadable
Next page