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you lied to me
so very many times
i forgive you
for i can see inside you
and the pain that burns there
horrible wounds incurred
as an innocent child
please understand these truths
i am afraid for you
i am not judging you
i will not desert you
i will always be here
and i love the real you
but i have my rights too
and at this painful time
i need respect and truth
and solitude
Choka
I feel as if you have passed away,
gone away and won't come back to stay,

Like the rain that is scared to cry,
I have done all I can,

I have Tried,

So I sit each day outside
waiting for you to come back to me,

like the rain,
I stand over closed flowers,

I cry out for you,

as tears drip off my face,
rolling on unopened  petals,

as they take the rain's place,
unopened petals open up like new,

and I can only wish they were you,

but they are not,
moving away my crying eyes from now open petals,

but neither you nor the rain,
come back in time,

as I and the flowers rot.
about losing someone you care about.
I tie threads to my eyelids
Pushing them down,
Shutting them for the day,
Putting myself to sleep.

One eye bats, then the other; perhaps together,
But they never fully close.
The sclera shines and lines like the sea waves’ froth.
I rest my head, curled-up in bed
While the words begin to follow
And I ask myself
“Should I get up and write or just let it go?”

The right eye whispers,
“Sleep, poor *****, let’s write when the sun shines tomorrow,”
But the impatient left, stares hard and says,
“What if you forget it all with the morning sorrow?”

So I gather the thoughts on my pillow,
Grab a paper and a pen; they say “hello!”
I write my own lullaby,
Scribble and sigh,
Oh, it’s just another sleepless night,
But I feel alive
Because I write, I write,
Oh I write.
december chill
is the sound
all this past year
has allowed

the ups and downs
the ins and outs
the tears of loss
the wayward found
the picking up
the setting down

december chill
brings to and end
all this past year
has thrown in
Don't tell me you love me when you told her the same you do not miss me this is all just a game.
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