I want to write it all down.
I want to write it all down;
I want to get it out of me
Because I am so full of empty spaces,
You could run a river right through me
And there are lines,
Lines that trace all over my body
Some of them point to my limbs
To my extremities,
My fingertips
My hairline
Some of them scribble around
The holes that cover me,
And try to fill them in.
I'm covered in scribbles
I'm covered in holes
They cover my mouth
They fill the air.
I just wanted someone who would take them away,
Untangle my lines
Untangle my hair

An old fire
Reduced to embers
Dark clouds
And a storm ahead

She came back to me
Arms filled with wood
A heart filled with love
A head aching with guilt

I have this fire to rebuild
And this storm to weather
But I can do it now
Because we're together

God
I dont know you
You've always been a stranger to me
A no one
If anyone asked
I would say
You were no one
Still

How I need you now
I need you more than ever
I need you now
I need you

God
Please I ask
Keep me from the end I see
Grant me peace
I don't really know
If you are real
But youre all
I need

what scared me the most
is that those few moments before i could tell for sure
when i couldn't tell if the problem was inability to find
a pulse or a vein-
the weak, venomous veins-
were the only few moments that were still quiet
because nothing has seemed to stop since then
the screaming hasn't stopped since then
the screaming hasn't stopped since i started it

it could've been her

Concept: inside my ribcage there is a tree growing. I am blossoming and every drop of blood is nourishment to my inner oak. She keeps me steady and she doesn't bloom all year round but when she does, its beautiful. Im healing, I'm healing.

I have found it.
That certain
circular way of being
I was looking
                for it,
                     so hard
my soul in turmoil
one slight scratch
under smiling surface
and I would become
a sculpture
made of wax
                melting
at the slightest
wisp of breath
burning ,
               mercilessly
at certain words
                forming
from your mouth,
your mouth—
that has placed
itself upon me
so many times
on our mutual
faraway cliffs
that no-time-zone
meeting point
above stars,
in other universes
     and believe me.
Nobody can
live this way,
suffering for
the want
of an uncontrollable
urge to be
          so
            very loved
So I have found it.
My way back
to balance
it was in your voice
and my own
together mingling
clear lines of phone
cut through soul tingling

I now take this lotus,
planted in my being
since birth,
and hold my stance
prepare to
               perform
the sacred dance
a mandala-painted
halo around my crown
a holy stone
in each hand,
          buoying my spirit,
anxiety down
stones I will never
cast upon you
because you
are forever me
             even as I
take my heart
with two hands
and return it,
still aflame,
into
           my
                 chest