Be careful of the monsters
They definitely want you dead
Be careful of the monsters
They know everything  you've ever said
Be careful of the monsters
They whisper in your head
Be careful of the monsters
They seen where you've tread
Be careful of the monsters
Because when your finally dead
They'll go after your best friend instead
Be careful of the monsters
Please

There's nothing
No ideas
No inspiration
No words
No mood music
There's nothing
No theories
No hypothesis
No hope
No tunes
There's nothing
No stuck in my head
No us
No close friends
No wishes
There's nothing
No dancing
No more
No dreams
No more stars
There's nothing
No hero's
No bad guys
No evil
No good
There's nothing
No drumbeat hearts
No ruby red blood
No storytelling flesh
No soft smiles
There's nothing
No pictures
No memories
No conversations
No there's nothing
No rocks below
No air above
No life near here
No tears in my eyes
There's nothing
Only
Maybe
There
is  
Something


        No        No
  No       No      No
      No           No
               No

No
There's
**Nothing

That feeling of
It would be SO easy
Just a little push
Just one more foot
There's the edge
Thoughts of
How long til I
Reach the ground
How much it would
Hurt
To just fall
I wonder
Sometimes
I really wonder

What the end is going to bring

I swear with every letter of every word
I am angry as I've never been
If only I had better instructions
for a bad day
Than its going to be OKAY
Because it's not
Not now
I'm shaking with rage
Please
Get some sense or maybe some knowledge
of the words and ideas
you speak
It means nothing if you don't know
And I know it should get better
And I don't know for certain it will

The rivers full of sharks
The oceans full of poison
Monsters roam the land
And the sky's no place to lay your head

If tomorrow is a good day
Then I will be okay
It was so cold this morning
You could hear the grass freezing
A crackling like glass
And with it my dreams are stashed
A quite chill in the air
Break the silence if you dare
Music  plays through one ear bud
Sometimes life is a dud
I'd love to see snow
I've only seen frost
There's so much I want to know
But most of it seems lost

The children do cry
When it could be time to die
Begging asking why

I heard that human
Blood is blue
Until it reacts with
Oxygen
I've heard that if
You play a
Certain frequency
While slowly freezing
Water
It because beautiful
I've heard that if
You have any
Pet you are
At less of a
Risk for
Depression and
Heart problems
I've heard that one
In three teen girls
Consider themselves
Ugly
Never good enough
I've heard that
Life
Should be
worth
Living
I've heard some
Things that I
Believe
But I've also
Heard things that
I'll never
Understand

Some of the best words
Will never be said
Stopping just shy of escaping
My lips, sealed by anxiety
A much needed comment
Or a philosophical thought
A dying need to express
Confined in a hesitant glance
Restricted by half smiles and frowns
The pinch between my eyes
Conveys the questioning side
Torn up lips define only
A brave protester self silenced
The dusting of a blush asks
Only what it could be
Shinning eyes glimpse only
Shy of everything that is meaningful
Chipped and uneven nails
Speak to every single secret
And stripped scars
Tell everything and nothing
About that body

Kp why oh why me
Haven't I had enough ?
Misunderstood in laguage
Stutter much?
Only last year could I look others in the eyes
But not so much with age
Making excuses and lies
It lies on my skin
Like you
Ridged and red it had been
I like my friends I do
But it's not like they'll ever ask again
The wounds too deep
Too visible
Crawling across my skin
Help is often oh so reliable
If only I knew where to begin
Peal it back and the brighter it gets
The harder it is the defend
Against these thoughts it fits
That my insecurities are so ever viable
When they strech across me
Kp why oh why me

Wanderer
Explorer you are
Over and over
In a desperate search for a sleep forever
Keeping quiet about the
Poison in your veins
And the graceless pain
Clawing up you like
Souls reaching for their heaven
Elegancy has never looked so forced
Cry all that you want
It will do none
Or shall live continue?
Wanderer
Where do you explore
This world or
A place a few stars over

A curious confection
Of mystery and death
Of hated perfection
And reasonable breath
Of nightmarish lines and finds
Of aching bones
And too many land mines
A horridous groan
Of every reasonable thought
That is slipped from your grasp
A life that ought to be wrought
And ends with short gasp
Taking care to not ruffle the feathers
Of the divine
Or trouble the lives of your betters
Oh world would you ever be mine
It's hard to define whatever I could say
That are constructed with truths and lies
If only I could live 'till may
But oh how my time flies
A sweet sorrowful fairwell
To my past to ever last
And to the future pray tell
I hope I go fast

I'd give you my heart
If I could
Only remember
The combination
To the locks
And where
It's buried
Maybe I'll find
The map
Or a guide
I'd give you my heart
If I could
Only dream
Up the day
I could
Trust someone
Like you

I'd think of you
And if I knew
What to think
I'd say it
To you
Your face a
Distant memory
I know that
We text
At least
Twice a day
Sometimes more
Our conversations
Have lulled
Into smiles
And 'how are you?'s
I've seen you
Only twice
In person
That was a year ago
My life is getting busy
So is yours
I should think
We met on the ice
But now this
Contention between us
Seems to be
Stretched thin
So I'd think of you
If I knew What to think about
I'd say it
To you

I've met death
We've conversed
Talked of life
His sister
He complained
Of being seen as evil
Not a just being
The weight is baring him down
I can plainly see it
Your stress has to go some where
He can bear it
Or turn it unto us
The entirety of the human race
A balance of power
so thrown off
So give me a little
I beg
He will not
I have a plan
To call out life
Send for misfortune
And luck
Split the burden
Apart
So yes I've met
Death
Life
Good luck
to those who live
And those who are dead
You'll need it

I may not compare
to you
Or anyone
But that's okay
There's no one better
At me
With my thoughts
With my dreams
Literally
what's your big
Idea
On life
On death
On hate
On joy
So yes
I may not compare
That's fine
As long as I am breathing
Away in my own world

It lay heavy in the air
Brought down by the gravity
It clung to trees and low lying buildings
It twists and spreads
Rising from the river
I can't see it if it clings to your skin
And mine, chilled by the rain
From a far it entraps you
Closer it disguises as air
You can feel it
But never see it
It pales all colors
Turns the sky to its grey white
Could search forever
And find nothing
But your own imagination
It's heavy and thick
The cold bleeds through my clothes
It's a darken feeling

Face me you coward
Stare your eyes into mine
Face me, face forward
You are wasting my time
Where's your war horse
Oh my handsome prince
Do you not own armor
Or a royal kingdom
I'm sorry about that scar
You suffered saving me
From the perceived evil
I was fine on my own
You killed by best friend
He was a good jailer
And a fine monster
He had a name
So yeah I'm sorry about the scar
I didn't mean to take out an eye
Or part of the ear
Yeah........sorry
I was fine in my tower
I didn't know I was missing anything
My rooms was all I've known
All I've ever known
You took me away from that
Introduced this scary
Big place
So why won't you look at me anymore
I know I don't really know how to talk
Or be around anyone
Or do anything worthwhile
I mean I can dance kind of
And read and write
Oh I can also sing and make cloths
And and I can draw a few things
And and I don't know what you want
Just tell me and I'll learn
You'll see I'm learning how eat
With a fork and a knife and a spoon
And another fork
I'm also learning your language
My teacher says I was your
Royal quest
What's that?
Your sister is teaching
something too
Oh I forget what is called
Something to do with the longer knives
The stories always say the one who rescues
The princess is the prince
And they live happily ever after
I'm not so happy
Why are you sending me away?
I don't like this boat
Or the people on it
So face me you coward
Face me show me your face
Please ........
Oh handsome prince
Are you the real hero?
I want to go back to my tower
With my best friend
Have you seen him?
I can't find him
Where am I
Where's my tower
My window
My books
What are they saying
Who are you?
Can I go home?
Is that a painting, why is it moving?
Please........

On my back in a sea of uncertainty
It rolls lifting me up
And gliding me down
Its wavering surface calms me like
The calm before the storm
Storm clouds wept in the distance
Cool grey clouds seem to surround me
I never know when the sky begins
And the ocean ends
Gentle like a mother holding her first child
For the first time
A slow rocking makes my mind drift
Like it hasn't since I was a child
The water has long since soaked
Me to the bone
Filling me up with nothingness
The wind whispers stories
Like teenage girls trying to keep a secret
The place seems endless
Of sleepless time
And timeless nothing
Drifting in and away from
This world's problems
Like every dark thought sank
And every light one keeps me
Floating
A kind of purgatory
No ...........good
No.............bad
Just you floating there
And that's it
drifting
It's like that moment before sleeping
Seconds between awake and asleep
When everything fades
Like in a fog
I see something
A shape at the edge of the nothing
I feel so unconcerned
As stars fall into the water
They make no sound
There is no ripples
The shadows grow lighter
And I fly higher
The water shapes into bubble like forms
Drifting around me
If only I could just be here forever
Drifting on my back
Nothing holding me down

What if no one knew you
What if no one loved you
What if no one hated you
If no one said hello
If no one says goodbye
If there was no conversations with you
No one cries over you
No one picked you
No one looked at you and smiled
No yesterday
No today
No tomorrow
What if no one saw through the mask
What if no one caught your tears
What if there was no escape
What if you were just a ghost
If death made more sense than life
If high school was more knowing
If friends were there
If broken things were easier to repair
No one knows, on this side of things
No one will understand you
No one feels like you do
No one in the world was muffled with you
No life in the shadows
No hope in the eyes of the many
No mid morning sun
What if is always a possibility but
Just wait until it becomes reality

I like this place
because I can be
Not behind
A mask
I know
that some don't
See
The world in me
Where life
is grey
But
Oh so interesting
Of colors only I can see
The nightmare corner
Isn't so scary
When my friends
Talk of
Death
****** plots
Anime
And......
Oh whatever else
I can discover
All that is hidden
from my everyday life
I have been
Disillusioned
In your worth
Internet
I know
that it is not any fault of yours
But you are forever
And I must blame
Something
If I do not know
Those who have hurt me

Im floating along in that
glass sphere
watching fish
go by
Its beautiful and quiet
A slow moving dream
Come on says the scuba diver
We drift to watch the whale past by
I have to get to the other side
It's just past the lines of slow moving
Creatures
I have to
I move towards an opening
Not fast enough I suppose
It's tale smashes into
The fragile glass
My body goes numb as air
Escapes and water fills
I awake gasping for breathe
I'm still so numb
I'm scared to go back to sleep
will I drown for real?
or is this still a dream?
will the rain flood in and
drag me away?
Its so loud.
Don't sleep
don't sleep
D
     O
          N
               'T
                    S.      L.      E.       E.      P.


Too late.

Does anyone else remember,
When they were young,
Closing your eyes so tight
You saw stars
Some speak of lovely words
Others define it as the edge of reality
A whisper of nothingness
And long winded gasp if sanity
I love the happier times

There's little evidence of this
The time before
When words meant
Nothing more than
Their everyday meaning
When there were no stories
No ill named characters
No half constructed worlds
When the words
A picture paints a thousand words,
Write them
Meant little more than
An impossible task
Now a simple challenge of
Picking the right words
Tear stains on old notebooks
One character unnamed
Pencils with broken lead
Erasers rubbed thin
Doodles instead of lines
Sketches of their faces
Never just right

Dear My Fellow Poets,
I'm entering a poetry competition soon and would like some advice on what a successful poem would be. I know that poetry is very much a self absorb sport that we, as authors and poets, do not always care what others think. Though a word of encouragement means the world that is, I believe, why some of us are here. We are a small society that is as close as any other. So this is just what it claims to be. Me, asking for advice from those I do not know but from those that are closer to understanding me than some of my closest friends. And because this is my fear of being rejected I will only ask that you consider responding.
With much thanks,
Courtney

Is that what you really look like?
Your defining features
A bit of blush?
Yes, hide yourself behind those
Thick frames.
Why is your hair dark?
You're a blonde aren't you?
Go brush your yellowed teeth
Why do you still have pimples
Shouldn't you have figured that out already?

mirror, mirror
on the wall
**who's the stupidest of them all?

What do you suppose is stronger?
Crystal or Glass
One built of melted sand
Or the one of minerals dripped into place
It's more romantic I suppose
Seeing that it's the collection of many things
To create something beautiful
But glass
Is shaped and colored to meet
Any preference
It let's people see clearly
And can be beautiful in its own way
Both can cut though
A two sided blade
Elegant and dangerous
but what do you suppose is stronger?
Crystal or Glass
Which do you think is better?
I suppose I think we all know

I've always wondered
Why cats hate water
An instinct maybe?
A fear of what could **** you
Seems reasonable to me
But then should I fear the air I breathe?
Or am I too Terrified to even
Sleep?
Afraid of what lurks in
My head.
Everything I push far away
In that little corner.
Where they plot
And devise
the very best way to
Open up my eyes?
Every fear has a part
in this play.
Even lowly fear of death
Who I am on speaking terms.
Embarrassment likes to be a needed
Secondary character,
who dies in the end.
Fire likes to leave everyone
Burned, but alive with no where to turn.
Loneliness no doubt likes the
Background set up
And me front and center with
Anxiety whispering in my ear
Line after line of stumbling
Nervous lies that everyone
Sees, no doubt
The lights are bright
And the stage seems to be a hundred feet
Off the ground
My knees quiver and my body shakes
As water rises and chokes me
My friends just above the surface
that I scrabble towards.
why is no one
doing anything?
I-i c-can't br-breathe
Help me











No one's coming though
I haven't said all my lines.
Or maybe I wasn't meant to finish
It's funny though,
The one thing that I don't fear
Is Pain
It's funny because my body
Always hurts
I love cats
How they're graceful
How they're always distracted
How they're so loving to their human
And I'd say water as a biggest fear
Then life must be sweet  
Or slow as honey
Perhaps it really is a
Lovely way to go

I see someone
Eyes closed to reality
But they do peak
With a deep blue shade
I see someone with
A heart that won't stop racing
To catch up
But they are so far behind
I see someone who
Sees more than this
Worlds of life and death
But can only write half of the adventures
I see someone
That is apart of nothing
But everything
I see someone with
Too little time
To be anything good
But they do try
I someone who
Has so much to say
But can't find the courage to speak
Oh dear mirror is that all you see?
I see someone who needs
Yes? Why don't you say it?
Let it speak. I beg you
I am silent, now

My heads in my hands
A broad smile on their faces
I've used up all my tear before age twelve
My eyes only mist now and then
Like the chance of fog in a desert
My heart is like a mirror that you've
Shattered but it'd not in pieces
It's still held together
Somehow
Their broad smiles are demons that attack
When you're vulnerable
Hands will tell you the story of their owners
I  <3 you
That's what you send me
I don't know what to say
I'm sorry
I don't know if I feel like that
It's tearing me up like a twister
So much destruction

Some believe the world
to have that glow of good
That lasting moment of hope
for the better in life
I'm sorry to say I don't see the good
I'm sorry to say
I don't see the belief in anything
I don't know the reasons that everyone has
I'm sorry to say I don't understand
We will all cry humanity
and stand together
when the world is in pain
but where is our solidarity
if we cannot understand
our differences?
What's the point in trying?
Where's the point in lying to yourself
we will destroy ourselves
and there is nothing we can do to stop it
unless they finally get it together
and understand
but I'm sorry to say that
old thoughts and old ways
distract us from our path
to completion  
Is far from my thoughts
good of the world
and let me think
what if we can change the world?
But I'm sorry to say
I don't think I'll see that
but I'm sorry to say
I don't think I'll live to see that
but I'm sorry to say we need it soon
and I hope for the best for the future
and the past because
Our present is filled with hate
because of misunderstandings and dehumanization
we need a moment of joy
Of change
A place to live
where we don't have to see that everyday I'm sorry to say
I'm too cynical to see that future
I see the bad in everyone
and I don't know why
I'm sorry to say
I'm sorry to say
I'm sorry to say
I don't know what to say anymore

I'm dreaming        
                        Fine but
                          All my
                    thoughts are
                       Thread
                           Bare
                            In a
                           Hope
                           That
               Can be          Seen as
       Nothing                  or as everything
          Left                    in a life
              Like this    One
                   Hanging
                       Like
                         A      
                    Noose

Tell me
Your woes
Tell me
Of your lows
Tell me
Of your happiest time
Tell me
Of when you met him
Or her
Tell me
Your fears
Tell me
Your ambiguity of thoughts
Tell me
I won't tell
Tell me
Your burdens
I will bear them too
Tell me
Of your hopes
Tell me
Of your dreams
I won't share your secrets
Tell me
Your doubts about him
Or her
Tell me
I promise you
I'll say nothing
Tell me
Of your marriage
As if falls apart
Tell me
Of when you felt lost
Tell me
But you never listen
Because I'm going now
I sent you a letter
It explains why
I'm leaving
for a better place
And at the bottom
After my name
It will say
P.S. Listen to someone else for a change
Your other left because
of this
Please don't be mad but
P.S.S. I don't care anymore

I need something to rage with me
Something ugly
In perfect hate
to relieve the stress
to bring me down from that level
From those who brought me there
Those who don't try
Who don't care
I'd rather die
Than admit I'd cry
Far too much
Something I need
so I don't snap
and be another statistic
I just can't take it
give me the screams and yells
of justified violence and
Unplanned lives that
Need a little more
I can't anymore
I just can't

I remember a poem
Of name I can not recall
It's lines that encased my heart
With a new view of the world
That told the story of
One such as me
but unlike as far as the eye can see
Constructed how I do not know
If the hero vanquished his foe
Or her warrior mine live or die
I am gasping from the high
But then it ends
With a sighing cry
Spiraling down into the dark
And has the final line
What's the point?
Love is stupid.
I suppose it's poet finally gave in
Saw the beauty in the world
Understood its greatness
But the darkness is there too
It's a never consuming thing
It will swallow you whole
And never let you go
I remember a poem
Of name I cannot recall
But it changed me
For the better after all

I told myself
Whispered in the dark last night
That I can't do it anymore
It hurts to try
Sometimes I'd rather die
It wasn't like this before
When I still had the might to fight
For myself

Who I could be
Could be Anyone
Could be me
No
I could be anything
A hero
Or a villain
That could be fun
Could be a writer
Or maybe somebody
Famous
Could be anything
Or anyone                                   _
Death to some                          /  |   |    \
Life to others                          /    |   |      \
A ruler of them                          \      //
Or a silent protector                   \   //
I could be                                    《 O》
I could be                                        ||
          I                                           《《
                Could
                                Be
Ordinary
I could have
The best
The worst
of everything.   /_/_/_/_/__/_
I could be
An end
Or an
Beginning
Who I am
Is who I
Will always be

It's a crowded place
Up here
In my mind
The radio is always on
A voice of self-hatred
Takes root in my head
A soft glow of joy
Cowers behind self-preservation
it's dark in my imagination

The way I love the world is a selfish kind of
Metaphor I suppose
I search out all the lies like
Love songs are written by fools
Time is best spent on ourselves
A different side doesn't matter
There are a lot of others detailing the * waste* of human effort
On what?
The silly things
The things and thoughts that matter
I love the world in an unusual way
By noting the cynical views
And where they are wrong
and where they are right
But it turns me darker and darker
Then I crack open a book
And imagine that world
And how there is definitely someone like me there
I love the world in a strange way
I desperately grasp the strings of hate and twist it inside of me
Until I am consumed
Sometimes it feels like an endless black hole
That ****** in the thin film of hope
Never to be seen again
But who knows if black holes even exist?
**Can it all just not exist?

I'm building a monster
Stitched together with every
Perceived slight



If you want to be happy
Don't create the nightmare
From your head

If I had time
Before the tears
That arrive
Every forth or fifth hour
My thoughts
Would be clearer
My mind
Happier
Place to live
less ideas
of horrors
And more
Of wonder
If I had time
Before the tears
Gather to fall
                   Like
                                  A
                                         Mist
                                                     Into
                                                                  Rain