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 Mar 2015 Belle Victoria
Rosie
Sadness, I am full of it
I'll smile during the day and nobody will know the difference
But when the lights go out
And im alone in my room
The saddness will show in little pear shaped tears
They will fall down my cheeks, down my chin,  and into my hair
never slowing
Always going
My eyes are the taps and the sadness the pull
The tears that fall are the drops from the leaky tank
And I will cry, I will cry until the tank runs dry and the pull subsides
Then, I will sleep preparing for the same tomorrow
Because the sadness is relentless and it will never let me go
Oh who am I kidding, life doesn't work that way
There are no happy endings or prince charmings
More like heartbreak and self-harming
You cut your wrists just to see them bleed
It's such a rush, the blade becomes your noble steed
you watch the blood flow down the drain
Along with your hopes and dreams of love and fame
You feel the life draining out of you
But no, oh no, you don't want it to end
even though your dog is your only friend,
even though you've been depressed for more days than you can count
Deep down you still had hope that someway, somehow you'd amount
To something
The black spots are clouding your vision
You panic, you cry,
And you realize that you don't want to die
You pray to God, begging to survive
Promising to do anything, in exchange for a second chance at life
But life, you see, is not a game
When it's your time to go, you go:
No excuses and hopefully no pain
All you see now is blackness
It's taking you under, out of consciousness
Your life doesn't flash before your eyes
You don't see the "light"
You're lost, alone
And now...
You're gone
 Mar 2015 Belle Victoria
Micah
Finding you was easy,
The squirrel that finds an acorn,
One that it is happily surprised to see.

Making a place for you in me was a little harder, you see,
It digs steadily, small paws boring into the ground,
Reconsider, a safer place for you is deeper, farther in.

Losing you is harder still,
Winter's coming,
And I haven't had my fill.

Losing someone before being found,
It may not be profound,
But even the squirrel will tell you now,.
Deeper does not mean any safer than above.
 Mar 2015 Belle Victoria
Alyssa
you
 Mar 2015 Belle Victoria
Alyssa
you
an old melody
left hanging
long after the silent noise
swallows the air whole.
the warmth
of pomegranate tea
trickling downward
in an empty stomach.
the wrinkles on cold knuckles,
fresh linen sheets,
honey down my throat.
battle scars;
burgundy lightning striking it's way
up boney knees
from tumbling so **** hard
over the cracked sidewalk.
rain on Sunday.
flakes of frost
emerging from the clouds
finding their way to our scalps;
standing outside, pushed against
fuzzy fabrics
that rest over your chest
saying, 'oh, please
I'm in love
I'm in love.'

Copyright ©  2015 Alyssa Packard
All Rights Reserved
if I had to put the feeling of falling for him into words
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