When I look at you and realize
somewhere in the clockwork of my heart
I still lose a second for you.

the little monster was quite the talker

She’s sitting on the edge of void
There’s nothing but her & her only
She screamed & yelled her lungs out
To the nothingness against her liberty
Why was she there? “What am i here for?”
She ran like forever hoping to see a living soul
In the frail state that she’s in she didn't lose her ardor
Rummaging for that unviable goal

"Is this a dream?Am I dreaming?"
She finally stopped to see where she is
Under the fabricated shades of existence
Feeding fragments of forgotten memories
A sudden influx of blood raining heavily
She’s now drowning in an ocean of blood
Trying her best to stay afloat
But she’s being hauled down furtively
But she didn’t meet her demise
She’s still alive

There’s no sign of obscurity
She’s now floating in the middle of nowhere
She heard someone called her name repetitively
There’s no one here
But the voice sounds familiar
She heard it everytime in her dreams
"I WANT YOU TO STAY HERE!"

She tried to run, fly or any exertion at all
It’s like she’s ensnared forever in this downward spiral
That voice she heard all this time
Is now right in front of her


Flabbergasted and petrified
That voice she heard all along was actually  *her.

We aren't family anymore. We never were.
We are just strangers living together.
In this broken house, with broken souls.

- a.c

I am
So tired.
I am cold
And white
And blind.
On my wrists,
Defensive wounds
From a vicious love,
From the kisses
Of a black asp
With constellation eyes.

I have been reliving my death.
I have been choosing
That sweet, frigid venom,
An addict dripping poison into my veins.

But I am
So tired.
I am spent
And lost
And alone.
There are bruises on the soft insides of my arms
From a habit of worshiping
Sharp things.
Under my fingernails,
Dark soil
Evidence of a grave I've overcome
Too many times
And a struggle I've won
At a cost.

I am sick of death.
Sick of attending funerals for the futures I lose
Brutally and unexpectedly.
I am sick of being tolerated.
I am sick of being
Sorry.
I want to feel life in me.
I want to learn the taste of sunlight
And safety.
Of forgiveness--
I hear
It is sweet as warm honey.
(I wouldn't
Know)

I have gazed....
Oh, I have gazed long,
And the void saw me
As I saw it.
And long after I wished I could look elsewhere
I stood, gorgonized, on the edge.

Hold my hand.
Remind me that I have hands.
Spread light
In me.
Forgive me for my gravity as I lean forward on that hollow breeze that's always calling.
Pull me back and keep me
Steady.

I will never be
On solid ground.
I will never be easy.
I will never be
Safe.
I am half light and half shadow,
Half joy and half pain,
Half kindness and half anger.
I am a great, twisted tree,
With my branches in heaven
And my roots
In hell.
Love that in me,
Will you?
Will somebody?
I am ready
To bloom.
I am ready
To live.
I am ready to be exactly
What I am.