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Feelin like I can get out of  this hole,
Feeling on top of the world,
shutout my self hatred,
My lack of will power; you diminish
Without you in my system,
Depression and anxiety;
Lame things that  interfere in being who I want to be;
When your run out lord help me

as

Dark eyes; seductive stare,
Make me so ***** that I can't bare
Caress your crotch,
Tease you so nonchalant,
In public;
Your seduction holds a spell on me,
attraction so deep,
Inside & out you make me complete.,
Soul as **** as your demeanor,
My sexuality couldn't be even more satisfied;  those big brown eyes, when they glance at me I become mesmerized
They man of my dreams,    
So witty and slightly mean,
your guidance lifts me from my knees,
Leave all the substance abuse in the past,
Life is finally good in havinga  blast

Wild flowers,
Water fall stream,
Misty mountains far along the breeze,
My dreams; so serene
downriver,
Filthy place where I stay,
Could go on & on, though too tired to explain;
I want to go far far away,
My dreams that my heart yearns to stay;
So close; but so far away
Pushing through everyday,
Depression poems are not my forte,
Though it's about to evolve to one now anyway,
You see no drive is an interference;
To not stay where I am today,
To my dream that I want to lay,
In a field of wildflowers; who needs a bouquet?
We all have dreams,
This is mine,
Conquered on the Devils time

Turning eighteen,
Suppose to be an adult;
feeling like a tween
  ex sad careless teen,
In the present not where I'm suppose to be,
grief of a loser,
Caught in the in between;
self inflicted headshot,
Or being who I want to be

Bang bang,
Music,
brainwashing your ears,
Designer labels and drugs,
Tempting you to mug,
Innocent lives
Sent above,
Due to the ignorance preached to the young
Concerned about the generation to come
This world is ****,
Now my flow may be a little ******, a little off
Thought I have no other thoughts

River streams,
Quietness so serene
Wild flowers,
sunny rays casting down,
Reflecting off the trees,
Touching the ground
Gentle wind bristling your skin,
This is my place you're not aloud in
Close your eyes,
You're problems meet their demise,
The Suns beating down on me,
I feel fine

Rain rain go away,
Interal chatter please don't stay
Ruining my chances of having a decent day
Chatter chatter chatter
Fogs my thoughts
You're words have no meaning,
No one cares about what you have to say,
Wondering if your hairs okay
Negative thoughts racing,
Chest tightening up,
Heart beat pounding,
Little air received,
When your mind affects you physically,
It's hard to breathe,
Hard to eat ,
Friends?
a distance memory,
for everyday,
this chatter plays
ruining my chances of something interesting to say
This life is such a pain,
Drifting away,
Reality,
Once felt many years ago
The present
A numb dreamy world

Voices tempting,
built up by sadness
This madness is controlling
Drug addiction overflowing
The person I use to see in the mirror is no longer showing
Isolation;
my bedroom is where I stay,
wondering why I'm the person I am today.
Depressing writes are real annoying
no ***** given;
capturing this is important,

For some day I'll be looking back smiling;
not identifying,
with this sad ****,
whining

shifting in and out,
good days; bad days
bliss in a drought

Though I don't mind,
when bliss strikes appreciation is intwined,
for those darker days that depress my mind,
make the better ones make me feel even more alive.

To you I whine; the **** that bothers me inside
Your love; so patient, so deep,
It don't want me to weep.
My mind can't compute,
how you deal with these disputes.
I'm a hard girl to be dealt,
with so many issues it makes my mind melt.
Though you deal with such stride,
Your love; the truest kind,
loving me for me;
including my ****** up mind.

My love for you will never die.

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Voices tempting,
built up by sadness
This madness is controlling
Drug addiction overflowing
The person I use to see in the mirror is no longer showing
isolation
my bedroom is where I stay,
wondering why I'm the person I am today
Depressing writes are real annoying
giving no ***** I must let out these thoughts ;
for capturing this is important

For some day I'll be looking back smiling;
not identifying,
with this sad ****,
whining

Us humans,
Will never know,
What the after life with unfold
The greatest mystery,
The earth holds.

Us humans will never know,
What the after life will unfold.
The greatest mystery,
The world holds.

Dullness; when apart
                   Meeting; feelings spark,
Bliss felt; childhood summers,
The closet metaphor to the feelings that flutter when we're with one another
        Thousands of sunrises and sunsets through which I've roamed;

No soul could ever fulfill your role

Zoning out,
     motivation drought
In the end what done is done
Unsatisfied with how your life's begun;
Unsure who you've become,
doing daily task not wanting to fulfill;
to conquer the low feeling of guilt
Pointless daily task to get by,
sometimes I wonder if I'm the only who opened their eyes,
If you're reading this and can't relate
I pray to god you never feel this hate

Dullness; when apart
Meeting; feelings spark,
Bliss felt; childhood summers,
The closet metaphor to the feelings that flutter when we're with one another
Thousands of sunrises and sunsets through which I've roamed;
No soul could ever fulfill your role

Tired eyes drowning in disguise,
Concealing the imperfections that lie,
Masking the physical, as well as the obscured inside

This is apart of everyday life.

A place loved by most.
A place where people boast,
Swarms of people in groups,
To prove their socially cool.
Others to shop,
Materialism and trends,
Consume the masses.
Civilization,
What have you done?
Simplicity,
Is gone.

What we all yearn for the most.
Someone to be your own,
A mate for your soul.
Powerful bliss,
Creates a strong hold,
Leading to control,
Living life in woe.
Toxic;
You must let go.

Am I alive?
Where is my drive?

Us humans,
Will never know,
What the afterlife will unfold.
The greatest mystery,
The earth holds.

Kind,
Shy, funny man,
Did the best that he can,
To raise me to be what I am,
Beautiful baby girl,
Smiling every second,
What everyone wants in the world
Years pass,
Daddy always there,
Doing the best he can,
Raising me to be the way I am
Beautiful baby girl,
A baby no more,
Middle school,
Troubled;
Diminished smile,
Daddy where are you?
No reply
Daddy's soul has left his eyes
No more doing what he can to raise me how I am,
Doing what he can,
To stop the voices in his head
Searching for cameras,
In the walls,
Paranoia controls his all,
Delusions
President,
Police,
Mom,
Everyone out to get him,
Stumbling upon his daughters sketchbook,
Sketch unfinished;
Headless body
Voices,
Convincing to be dismembered,
Out to get him;
Dismember him,
Paranoia growing,
Irritability as well,
Mommy a victim,
Strangled, breathless,
By a body with no soul
Life flashes amongst her eyes,
Children being married,
Awakes,
Escapes,
Daddy's alone,
In a mental home
Not for long,
Returns with medicine to fix the harm
Daddy?
Void of soul replaced
Stability,
Daddy regained,
Medicine disposed,
Voices grow,
They're going to **** me,
The 9th,
Facing doom,
Departure to a highway overpass,
Aimlessly walking,
The edge
Concerned bystandards,
Authorities called,
Shouting,
Scared,
No way out,
A fall,
A crash,
Daddy,
Is dead.

Can not sing,
Nor play a note.
Academics,
Agility,
No strength neither.
Lust for talent,
Desire of success,
A void remained unfilled,
By the talentless.

Raging bull
Growing by the hour,
Within each second,
Of each minute,
Of each year,
Fueled by failure,
Failed attempts,
Hatred
Fills it all,
Will power?
Lower, and lower
Within each second,
Of every minute,
Of each year,
Like a raging bull
Roller coaster never reaching ******,
Raging, raging
How much more
Can the mind take?
Before it snaps?
Before it will collapse?
Answered,
With time.