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Autumn Joy Aug 2017
If you understood
all the feelings someone had
when someone passed
or when someone left

If you understood
someone's reason to keep going
when pain and doubt
crushed their every waking thought

If you understood
that you would never understand
maybe they'd have more comfort
maybe you would have been a better man

If you had kept trying
I'm sure you would have gotten there
to where you would understand
not every thing is for you to understand

If you understood
If you understood
If you understood
If you had kept trying
If you hadn't given up
If you were still here
If you knew what you would never know

If you understood
Autumn Joy Aug 2017
today I struggled with old feelings
I saw what I use to want
although with me,
was want I want now


tonight I struggle with mixed emotion
between the then and the now
I will choose the now
but I can never forget the then
Autumn Joy Jun 2017
you will never complete me
but you will always be part of me
Autumn Joy Jun 2017
I've finally felt
what it's like to not be alone

i've felt what it is
to have someone to hold

to feel someone's breaths
resonate with my own

a feeling like this
i'd never let go
Autumn Joy Jun 2017
i'm scared
i'm scared because i just graduated
i'm worried
i'm worried because i don't know anything

i'm excited
i'm excited because i can be my own me
i'm happy
i'm happy because soon i'll be moving away

and i'm scared again
i'm really scared
no one told me how to be an adult
i guess no one gets told
what do i do with myself now

work is unfulfilling
school too expensive
career unlikely
money too low
depression creeping in
anxiety levels rising
breaths shortening
that brings us up to where i am right now. i still can't manage to be calm longer than one second. everything's cool
Autumn Joy Jun 2017
It's okay you don't like me
it's okay because
I like someone else now
it's not a different boy
it's me.
Autumn Joy May 2017
tonight I got to see him
oh, he was beautiful
his hair curved to shape his face
his smile perfectly placed

we laughed and smiled
we giggled and danced
all i wanted was to give a kiss
but his heart was a target I've already missed

the night was young and peaceful
happiness floating away into the darkness
he was happy there with me
but with another was where he wanted to be
a lot of my poems are about this boy lately and i'm sorry for that but i've just been so infatuated and i adore most everything about him
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