no one really understands...
i feel fat, huge, disgusting, to  the point that i am uncomfortable in social scenes and my own body...
nothing fits my body right, at all.
and they say its because im 'so curvy for my age', please just quit lying to me.
quit telling me im pretty, or im so skinny, and curvy.
im disgusting.
i dont understand why other people dont see it...
i can list something wrong with every part of my body... and the fact that im friends with this one girl who is just gorgeous at all times, just hurts more, but its not her fault im ugly...
its not her fault that she lies to me,
society tells her its okay to.
just so it will make me feel a little better for a fraction of a second.
but i see through the lies,
i feel the nasty looks and looks of pity i get.
i see the looks that i get that say 'i cant believe shes so ugly...'

Well I got my hoodie today,
And I broke,
Maybe it is for the best,
But yet why does it hurt so bad,
I am just so tired,
Tired of trying,
Tired of faking,
Tired of sleepless nights,
Tired of caring,
Tired of being alone,
Tired of breathing,
Tired of living,
Most of all,
Tired of being Tired.
Like ****.

You should be here with me
My heart is as empty as the side of the bed that you used to sleep on
And my life's crashing harder than the waves on the shore like when you first kissed me
And I'm falling harder and faster into loneliness than I was when I fell for you
And I know there's no stopping this
But you should be next to me
Kissing each freckle on my arm and tracing "I love you" into my palm because each letter deserved it's own recognition for it made up a larger picture
And you should be next to me
With my head leaning onto the very shoulder I spent entire nights crying into
You should be beside me
But I guess this was all besides the point
And now you're next in line for a new girl
I just wish you would give me a next chance

everyone says that you don't actually need your boyfriend, you just want him.
but i do, i need him.
and tell that to the old woman whose husband just died and she loved her whole life.
and when they pronounce her dead and they say it was 'broken-heart-syndrome' tell her family that the doctors were wrong, that no one can die from an emotionally induced heart break .
i dare you. tell them.
and if you wouldnt tell that old woman, why would you tell me that?
and when i ask you that, don't tell me that its different because its not.
because i love him, just as much as that old woman loved her husband.
and just because she was born in a different time, that their generation was completely different.
and don't tell me that everything will be fine, because it won't.
i won't ever be able to forget him, like i've been able to forget the others from before.
don't tell me it's just a want.

She said to me "You're perfect",
and I want you to be mine."
But I felt I wasn't worthy
and to be perfect, Ill need time.

I knew it wouldn't be worth it,
It could be better if I tried,
then she got tired of waiting
and I watched my chance go by.