I went through every Hell's door
Just for you to shut it on my face

so I noticed that we both drink coffee.
just like anyone, we both like ours a certain way.
i like mine sweeter, with just the aftertaste of coffee there.
caramel, sugar, creamer.
i think about when i’ll have my next cup, and the idea of it alone makes me happy.
i don’t care what time of day i have it, i almost always have a cup.
i make time for my coffee.
it might be safe to say i think you like your coffee black.
you might add just the smallest touch to soften its bitter taste, but never too much.
sometimes i think you just pour it and carry on, as though it’s nothing important at all.
as though all it is, is just some quick fix.
like you just want to get it over with.
we drink it in two different ways.
i drink it slowly.
i note every flavor in every sip, i enjoy it.
i note the warmth it brings me.
i like it all hours of the day.
you drink it quickly.
quicker than me, at least.
you don’t care if it burns your tongue, or perhaps you’re used to the pain.
you accept it.
you never let it last, you move on to something else soon after.
i lay in your bed, watching your eyes as they skim the screen in front of you.
your mind is somewhere else.
i savor the moments you look my way, if even for a second, and smile at me.
i wonder if you even notice them.
i feel your laugh vibrate my bones, making the hair on my arms stand on end.
do i make you feel at all?
i reflect on it every time i drink my coffee.
i think about it with each and every sip, taking my time.
something tells me that you don’t do the same.
after all, it's just coffee.
but i put my all into this coffee.
i think you like your coffee black.

You know how when you’re trying to sleep
But your mind is racing
How you’re trying to be still
But your thoughts are on the move
Ideas, Regrets, What ifs, Fear
All demanding to be heard
To be felt
To be validated
You know how when you’re not ok
But you’re trying to be ok
And then someone ask you if you are ok
So you break down all over again
Sometimes you want them to read your mind
To know the answer before the question
You know that pain that’s so great it feels
Like a physical weight holding you down?
All you want is a hand to carry the load
A shoulder to leave tear stained
An embrace to feel safe and loved in
You know that feeling when you’re screaming inside
But still wanting desperately to be heard
The struggle of trying to save yourself
But still hoping for a hero