It's a clockwork — like the dances of phantoms in the hallways, in the glow of lights through the window at night. I stared like a burglar from afar, It's the fear and anger, that's keeping me restless — a reminder that I should sleep with one eye open, meager, furiously shame.

I understand how stubborn they are rewriting the history, as I try to recollect, catching trails like they were footsteps. Love is all they worship from the beginning of time, thus it crumbles them to dust.

Are they second - hand embarrassed? If I couldn't see the ghosts and shadows lingering everywhere, yet here I am nestled to all that fairy tale, for a momentary, and still plotting the sweetest lullaby. Did they haunt you too? as if it were a chunk to the armour or it counterfeits them?

People are enamored at the calm, tranquility of the sea as they said, as it depicts only how gentle it is, cascading through shores. We have hated its chaotic depths and crashing waves as the dark skies looms above, those waves were the beat of my heart in a gold locket— it must love the catastrophe to be kind.

In the early morning fuzz, a smoky inhale of life
the lamppost is lit and the trees are just waking up
Five Forty Two Am: the eyes of the sky are grayly
I hold my stave high as I begin my very first poem  

Bushes and creeks containing tiny quakes of light
piercing through a silent heaven, I feel alright
Sleeping in the room next door he is unaware
of the awakened altered state that claims me

Down the path of memories I go alone and safe
standing behind a closed window, vouchsafe !
Smoke blankets the city on this Friday morning
I can't touch the fire, I am only its town crier

as I write about the residue of the wildfires,  
                I can see the peeling back of its slight
                                 and know instinctively,
                                          It is daylight....

First she told me to wait,
Then she said it’s a game.
And as I heard the voices
Call out for souls, well,
Every call was my name.

So I stepped through the fog
Into that murky mire.
And the next thing I know
From my head to toe
I was covered in fire.

But she told me to wait.
And she said it’s a game,
And if you give it ten minutes more, man,
You’re gonna feel the same.

First I felt a cold chill.
I beheld a serpent’s stare.
I was losing my will,
Frightened but still
I trusted the wind like a leaf in the air

So I stood like a stone,
And I felt all alone.
And the moment that I
Felt the shadow inside
I knew I would never see home.

Cause she told me to wait.
And she said it’s a game,
And if you give it five minutes more, man,
You’re gonna feel the same.

She said she had what I need,
And knew my depths of desire.
I felt the pit of me stir
When I knew I’d prefer
To blindly believe that she wasn’t a liar.

She picked my pieces apart,
Then she poisoned my heart.
And that’s when I knew
That nothing was true
I cried out inside and I begged for the start.

I was a puddle and pile
That’s when she turned to smile.
With the sweet on her maw
She saw what I saw.
I thought she wouldn’t be back for a while.

But she told me to wait.
And she said life’s a game.
And if you give it one minute more, man,
You can get up
And follow
The tracks of my train.

You know, she told me to wait.
Then she said it’s a game.
And if you give it ten seconds more, man,
You’re gonna feel
You’re gonna feel
You’re gonna feel…
The same.

I swim endless in despair
So that I do not drown in it.
I breathe only to breathe.

I am suspended in sunlight with no warmth.
I am surrounded by notes that make no melody.
I fumble, falter, fail.

Heavy as a raindrop whose cold
Penetrates deeply into loneliness
Is the air, the light, the lingering.

I forget too much.
I remember too much.
I am too much, and not enough.

A shallow pool is that in which we swim
A void wants only to be filled.
Misery takes us all.

If the desire for life is not burning your heart,

If the desire for life is not burning your heart,
go to the flower fields, lie down in the green grass, and kiss it
until it gets your lips green
green  - green -  and
                                    deepen your hands în the black earth,
deepen your hands în the black earth,
squeeze its roots,
                            squeeze its roots,
squeeze its roots, like a child does,
let its juices drain through your fingers

let its juices drain through your fingers

let its juices drain through your fingers

meet the sun rising like a Lover,
let it be your guiding myth,
let it be your silent light,

flow with the waves of the sea,
                                                 flow with the waves of the sea,
randomly, give a hug to a seagull, and dream, dream, dream...

After,
if you are tempted, you can try over and over ... over ...
if help is needed, the wind can help,
                                                    let the heart open like a rose,
share the dawn,
                         roses love to be touched only by the morning dew
dew dew dew
dew
after, if you  are tempted, try again, one more time,

(…all we do here, my dear, is try
            to recover
                         the wings we once lost in the rain …)