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Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2022
I've accepted cold reality
You truly are forever gone
Without your presence I feel empty
Hard to find the strength to go on
I miss you so ******* much mom...
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2022
I'm consistently looking for answers
Feel need to understand
This is not a life I've dreamt
Far from what I planned
In black and blue sight is drenched
Each sound is monotone
Surrounded by people or by myself
Feel just as alone
But there is no one besides me to blame
Responsible for my tears
Storms created by own hands
I can't make them disappear
Your voice calms rainfall
Only effective source of power
The once-torrential downpour
Nothing more than moderate shower
I miss planet bursting with color
Vibrant hues have went dim
No matter which direction looked towards the future
Every avenue is bleak and grim
I do not know how to fix everything
I'm unsure of where I went wrong
Weeks blur together
Spiral the drain
Days not lasting long
Your words give hope to hold onto
Clutch them during the coldest nights
I can't tell what is real or not
Making it hard to focus on the light
I heard best is yet to come
But finding it difficult to agree
Every cloud overhead is grey
Silver linings impossible to see
Feeling some type of way right now
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2022
It was the last thing I longed to do

He was THE ONE after all

Playful smile
Mischievous eyes
Coming with the tide to wash up on my shore to stay forever

Wanted fairytale to remain intact

And just like that it imploded and all its perfection scattered a dozen different directions with one catastrophic explosion

He was impossible to capture
I should have realized that from the start

I tried pinning him down but maybe when I did that he couldn't breathe
I crushed his lungs AND his spirit...
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2022
I do not know why you had to leave
Heartbroken and hopeless inside
There is an empty abyss in the depths of my body
Where once was love you supplied
Like vacuum swallowing happiness
Snugly settled in my gut
Tried to sew the hole closed
It refuses to stay shut
Invisible swords cut stitches
Watch as they unravel
As if that isn't enough damage
Slices into my tissue as well
Knew day would eventully come
This the epitome of my fears
Unaware it would arrive so soon
Easy ignoring signs throughout years
I'm lost without your warm presence
Standing frozen stuck in place
In front of me are memories
Impossible to erase or replace
In a small enclosure pace
Caged behind eyes
Crying how very sorry I am
You cannot hear me apologize
And thinking about all the warnings spoken
You turned out being correct
Do regret how I treated you sometimes
Cannot take back doubt or disrespect
Don't have a clue why i was so cold to you
When you had done me no wrong
My imperfections seen so clearly now
You and I could never seem to get along
Every chance I got put the blame on you
Time has cleared up my sight
Too late now but I'd give anything
To have you back for just one more night
I'd sacrifice every tomorrow for one more yesterday
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2022
My thoughts lately too loud
Staggering
Hate the sound
Cannot silence commotion inside
Why peace is difficult to find
My mind always takes me back to the darkest lowest depths of my thoughts
  Aug 2022 Amanda Kay Burke
Ciel Noir
we are alive because we won
some cosmic lottery of laws
a battle versus antimatter
everything we know and are

we are alive because we won
the perfect distance from the Sun
where water flows and life may grow
upon, along, above, beyond

we are alive because we won
a litany of love and war
we wonder from atop our tree
where have the other branches gone

between the void and kingdom come
between infinity and none
and of that number
only one

we are alive because we won
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