I wish you saw yourself as I see you.
I wish you could feel what I feel when I am with you.
You are mesmerizing.
In so many ways.
You are perfect.
There isn’t one thing I would change.
Because it’s you.
Everything what makes you You
Should never disappear.

...but why does it only feel right when it hurts.

I wonder when it happened.
When was the breakthrough.
When I started to feel nothing.

From what I can remember
I could feel happiness.
But I don’t remember how it felt.
Last months I don’t remember much.
I forget so easily, everything.

I believe it can appear again.
Somehow, one day.
The emptiness will start feeling less empty.
Less invisible.

When I was younger I barely had any bad thoughts.
If you don’t know things the reality can’t hit you.
But once you get to know them
They will haunt you.
Forever.

Like air going through your lungs.
You think you need it.
But in reality it’s just dust stopping you from breathing.
It doesn’t matter where you are.
Even where the air the clearest.
You will breath the dust.

Isn’t life too short to pretend you like it?

You would say life is how you make it,
but I dont agree.
Sometimes you can try your hardest
and still feel on a ground,
not able to get up, not able to see.

There are times,
when I dont see light.
Sometimes, just one sparkle would be enough.
Thats what makes me hold on.
Life is not always bad but often it is.

I guess what makes it good is the feeling.
Being important, being pretty, being active.
Being enough and still be you.

I remember times when I didnt think of
not being enough.
I was a kid who didnt have a reason to feel that way.
But as I was growing up,
all the things around me,
make me feel like giving up,
on everything I want to be.

I dont know, is it reversible?
I always try my hardest in everything I do.
I try to be the best student,
the best friend,
the best girlfriend.
But all I feel like is fail because
everytime I turn around,
some things just disappear.
Why they cannot just be good I ask.
Why?