I had my first dream last night that you weren't in.
not even a minor character,
your ****** name wasn't even in the credits,
let alone plastered across the sky in flashing lights
like you want it to be.
my first reality that you didn't belong in,
and it was the most blissful peace that I can remember since we bathed in pools of cloud.

I heard the first song that didn't make me think of you yesterday.
the lyrics, for once, were just lyrics,
not an embodiment of you and the things you do.
guess what?
it was coldplay.
you always hated coldplay.

this morning, I basked in the sun and didn't picture you coated in gold light beside me.
I didn't look at the leaves adorning the trees and picture your face laughing beneath it.

I didn't trace the plate lines of my palm and imagine the earthquake we used to create when yours collided with mine.

I didn't eat new food that I wanted you to try and I didn't want to share the smallest details of my day with you.

you may have won this poem, loverboy,
but don't be too triumphant.
your victory won't last long.
it's the era of my new beginnings without you and I'm going to be just fine.

I am starting to realize  
That although you are beautiful
You are not the only beautiful person I will ever love
I am starting to realize  
That I miss you less every day
And breathing has come easier to me recently
I am starting to realize  
That my chest does not cave in as it once did
At the sound of your name
I am starting to realize  
That there is no point in grieving for the one page
On which my name was once written
When I have become a thousand new chapters
In my own story
I know I loved you then
Perhaps I always will
But I no longer collapse for you as I once did
And I never will again