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 Aug 2016 ALamar
My apology
 Aug 2016 ALamar
This is my apology to you,
Read it,
Hate it,
Love it,
I don't care just understand this,

I'm sorry for who I am,
I'm sorry I don't understand basic social behaviours,
I'm sorry that I am selfish,
I'm sorry that I don't care,
I'm sorry I don't call,
I'm sorry I don't ask if you're okay,
I'm sorry that I get anxious to ask,
Unsure if I will regret asking,
I'm sorry for crying out loud,
I'm sorry for not listening,
I'm sorry that I question everything,
I'm sorry that you have to repeat everything,
I'm sorry that I never get it,
I'm sorry for hurting your feelings,
I'm sorry for being sorry for myself,
I'm sorry for murmuring,
I'm sorry for being afraid of you,
I'm sorry that I text other people and not you,
I'm sorry that I don't show that I love you,
I'm sorry that I don't consider your feelings,
I'm sorry for sending you this,
I know that it's just words to you.
For my mother
 Aug 2016 ALamar
Little Bear
in his love
my spirit softened
like a fragrant balm
had been soothed
over the raging storm
of my disquieting
within my soul
the storm
had been quelled
and a stillness
fell about
my feet
like autumn leaves
covering the ground
which i always wished
would swallow me
 Aug 2016 ALamar
Still You
 Aug 2016 ALamar
And somehow you're still the one.
You're still the same boy I love;
the one I fell for years ago.
You're still in my heart.
I know I'm not in yours,
but I can't help, but hold you in mine.
You were my first love.
And I know that no matter what I do,
I'll always be in love with you.

- kmh
 Jul 2016 ALamar
Colour Blind
 Jul 2016 ALamar
Colour Blind

I don't see the colour of your skin.

I see
the colour of your heart.

Is it dark and putrid or
is it the color of a soft and lilting tune?
Is it filled with warm tones,
or cold?
Hues of ice and snow,
or gold?

Do you give or take?
Do you love or hate?

I don't see race or faith,
I just see you-
your energy, your words, your actions.

I see you; I just simply
see you.
The news is getting to me. Let's all just love and be loved.
Every one of us deserves love and kindness. Every single one of us.
By Jennifer R Fay Copyright 2016
 May 2016 ALamar
 May 2016 ALamar
Fill every crack in my body with cement and wine
Sober me up with stale breath and cold finger tips

Sting my skin with the fire of your words
Make my insides spin when I think of our last moment together

I am breathless but yet full of energy
I am running but my feet haven't left the ground
I am spinning without becoming dizzy
I am without reason
Something you always taught me

Take my silence and turn it into a poem
Something that can be spoken to the heavens
Of higher power to be spewed upon them in a way that is inhumanly
I'll see you at the viewing
I'll be in black
You'll be in your best dress

It was so brief
Not even my eyes could've have caught it
Once there now gone

I am vain
I am emotional
I am king

I feel every morsel of my body tense up
I'm looking at your headstone
Counting the bouquets of dead flowers

You were my rain and shine
You were divine

I am the sign
Saying you're going the wrong way
Turn back now

I am crippled from the thought
I have a headache and this room feels smoky
There's strangers in every dark corner
You always told me not to be in these situations

You disappeared and I fell into the darkness
I am painless I am stainless
Many have tried painting there words into my skin but it's all melted away shortly after

The only thing that ever stayed with me was something you branded into my arm last summer

"I love you. I miss you"
 May 2016 ALamar
shanika yrs
Then I start feeling
How it is like to live in a heaven
Being loved and kissed
In the days pass by and to the days come by

Then my feelings start singing
To a soft blue rhythm
Augmenting the aura brighter
Even more to thousand stars

**Then myself start turning to yours
Harmonize the splendor of
Colosseum to the vintage days of Paris
' Mihiraviye...'
Days to days - Years to years
The time was beaten
By the sunshine of the spring
Happily everlasting
love brighten you up, settle you down, soften your muscles, color your brain - most of all love taken you away from time

note:  "Miraviye" means "Sweetheart"  in Sinhala ( native language in Sri Lanka)
 May 2016 ALamar
What do I have to do to get you to notice me?
Change my hair, the way I walk.
My clothes, the way I talk.
We've known each other for some time now
yet I'm still invisible to you.
My feelings run deep and how
I wish you only knew.
I see your face every time I close my eyes
To me you just seem so different from the other guys.
To you I'm just a friend
Nothing more, nothing less
I settle for friendship in the end
Because I don't want to make a mess.
Instead I'll keep my secret to myself
And take my pride back off the shelf.
Until one day you finally see
That you and I were meant to be.
I'll wait for now but not too long
Because sooner or later I'll be gone.
So when will you notice me?
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