Put me in your stomach
Chew me up and spit me out
I think American ****** said it best
"Stop sounding so ******* sad"

It's been raining all morning
I wake up to the sweet smell of your bed head hair

I'll kiss your hand til the sunrise
Because if you stay here with me
The sun will shine
And I will smile to spend the time with you

Stand in your kitchen
Listen to the Beatles on your record player
Dance like goblins
I'll kiss your lips to yellow submarine

Listen to the songs I played
I talk about your hair in each one

I can hear the sound of whistles blowing
Running down the street to catch the bus
I can come to your house
We can listen to knocked loose all night
Yell at the wretched sun

I hope this all makes it to you over seas
You're in London and I'm forgotten

Hear my voice and catch it in your hands
Hold it delicately like a baby bird
I'm so happy to see you now
I can wait for all of time

You're in luck because I'm forgetting

My knuckles are dripping blood
It is my own
Hitting myself to feel something
I see crimson, but I don't feel stinging

I just need you to crawl inside me again
Pulse through my veins
Send me skyrocketing to the moon
Constant sugar, constant high

I come up from the sewer where I reside
Climbing into your bed to hear your breath
Tracing your insides with my finger tips
Kissing your translucent skin

I'm so sorry
I'm so excited
I'm running into the walls like a blind dog
Conformist meets ****** with a spark

I picked these flowers from the neighbors yard for you
I know you don't care for roses but aren't they pretty?
You're so pretty
I hope you'll hold my trembling hands

Stop leaving me here to kiss the ghost of my better self
Why are you messing up again and again

spread my blood on your walls with the hands that once held my heart so delicately

I think I've become the thing that you saw in your nightmares tearing you limb from limb

you've only made me feel like I'm drowning in the dark ocean rather than burning in your light

the last time I saw you, you looked so happy

I'm so sorry for pushing you all away but is it saving myself from being hurt or is it just my selfishness

I don't know how to handle the tears that seep through my clothes anymore because they're making me freeze

I'm sick of everyone saying that things will be okay because there's a few months of good until you get **** on again

I don't exist anymore to you
And definitely not to them

For some reason that I don't think I will ever understand, they built a house inside me and then lit it aflame just to see me burn

Do I understand why they lied?
No
Will I ever?
No

I'm sorry but it may not seem like it but I was giving you my all but I guess that just wasn't good enough because you were running away like wolves

And to be honest I don't even think that it's still you that I'm missing, just something that burns cigarette holes in my heart once again

it's always been my dream to be empty but now that I am I don't feel content

Everything that I am doing now is not what I imagined to be doing 2 months ago

I've drank so much to forget your ways
This feeling of wanting you comes but never stays

I miss the dark side of my emotions because at least then I had a reason to be upset because this feeling in my chest is suffocating

I am not sad
I am not mad
I am not glad

This is an existence that is rotting into my skin
Writing down all of this does not help ease the pain

Imaginary friend
I am conjuring you up in my head because all of my friends left me for dead

Lonely boy
Why do you feel this way
Why can't you get up and leave
All you do is lay and wait
Is this how you want to be
I'm sorry but that is not okay
Don't make me hit you again boy

I am getting out today
This snow is on the ground but I'm not feeling the cold
I'm naked and innocent
Please don't contain me
I miss the sunflowers

I hope you regret not saying that you're proud of me
The blood that's running down from my nose makes me miss your hand

It's funny that you find what you are looking for when you least expect it
You're walking down the street and you walk passed your soulmate
You dream about someone that was thinking of you before they fell asleep
This is a grain of salt on the biggest desert landscape
If you don't get it just right you won't be able to make it right anyway

It's been 10 years and I'm on my own
I haven't seen you since then and I am happy about that
That grave made you crazy
But how come seeing your father pass made you neglect your son
That's backwards thinking

I hope that you don't hear this
If you do
You'll get mixed emotions
The wrong idea
Things you can't see
I'm not mad or upset with how things are
This is just my sick and twisted way of saying i love you

Things have been uncomfortable
I don't know much how to handle it
My writing has gone to ****
And I honestly am scared

Everything feels very one track
And I don't fully feel here
As in I don't feel connected to earth
It feels like I'm an outsider on my own life
I'm sure this just sounds a little dull
Melodramatic even but I wanted you to know that I am concerned

I don't think the hospital could help
And no therapist would tell me what to do
I can't tell them how I feel because I don't know how to explain it
I've been waking up with nose bleeds and I think they look really cool
Maybe I'm on the verge of dying but I don't know it so I'm still living

I hope that I don't leave you guys behind
I don't want to be missed like this
I know I'm a little morbid at times
But I'm just pouring all of my blood to feel fine

This isn't like last time
I haven't done anything stupid
But I feel like I should have
At least I would have known why I feel this way

This is something that I haven't ever felt
It won't let me run away
I'm stuck in a nightmare
I hope that you will come find me

Take a nail
Stab it right through the middle of my palm
Now do the other one
Do you feel any better seeing me pinned here

This is what it feels like to have you pressure me
I feel cornered in a room and that doesn't have a door
It's has a window though
I'm stuck here in this chair

My eyes are turning black because I'm sick of blue
I don't want this but I'm trying for you
I am sorry that I am not good enough but God please know that I'm trying my best
Push me on the ground
Stomp on my face
Use my blood to draw a picture of what I should be doing
Use it to make a list of all the **** ups adding up

I can't sleep anymore
My brain keeps me awake but not in the I'm so energized right now way
In the I'm too tired to sleep way
Take my hand
I make get a little blood on you
I hope that's okay

I hope that soon
I can finally take this chair
And throw it through that window
And finally be free

What I don't know is that the chair is nailed to the ground and the window is glued shut
There is no escape for me

COME ON BOYS LETS KICK THEIR ***

I'm sorry
That may have been too forward
I am just so full of energy
I want to smash your face in
Take a broken bottle and rip it through your throat
Breath all of me
You can't run away you fool
What do you take me for
Pity pity pity

IM SORRY

Okay apology accepted
It's a good thing that I don't care because I kind of already killed you
Oops
That's not blood officer
It's ketchup

SETTLE DOWN SETTLE DOWN COURT IS NOW IN SESSION

I think I'm quite sick
Don't send me jail
Take me away
I'm a lunatic
Boy oh boy
I want to play in the padded room
And maybe even paint a pretty picture of a typhoon

HES DEAD SIR

How could he be dead
There is no way he could've killed himself
He had no weapons
It's a padded room for Christ sake
Okay look this isn't going to be an easy coverup
Call president bush and tell him to **** another one of his assistant secretary
That should do the trick

THIS IS ALL JUST A GAME TO YOU ISNT IT

Why yes honestly
Do you think this crazy smile and stupid laugh is all just for show?
Well I mean that's besides the point
I'm sorry you just can't handle my sense of humor
This isn't my fault