This is my apology to you,
Read it,
Hate it,
Love it,
I don't care just understand this,

I'm sorry for who I am,
I'm sorry I don't understand basic social behaviours,
I'm sorry that I am selfish,
I'm sorry that I don't care,
I'm sorry I don't call,
I'm sorry I don't ask if you're okay,
I'm sorry that I get anxious to ask,
Unsure if I will regret asking,
I'm sorry for crying out loud,
I'm sorry for not listening,
I'm sorry that I question everything,
I'm sorry that you have to repeat everything,
I'm sorry that I never get it,
I'm sorry for hurting your feelings,
I'm sorry for being sorry for myself,
I'm sorry for murmuring,
I'm sorry for being afraid of you,
I'm sorry that I text other people and not you,
I'm sorry that I don't show that I love you,
I'm sorry that I don't consider your feelings,
I'm sorry for sending you this,
I know that it's just words to you.

in his love
my spirit softened
like a fragrant balm
had been soothed
over the raging storm
of my disquieting
thoughts,
within my soul
the storm
had been quelled
and a stillness
fell about
my feet
like autumn leaves
softly
silently
covering the ground
blanketing
that
which i always wished
would swallow me
whole

And somehow you're still the one.
You're still the same boy I love;
the one I fell for years ago.
You're still in my heart.
I know I'm not in yours,
but I can't help, but hold you in mine.
You were my first love.
And I know that no matter what I do,
I'll always be in love with you.

- kmh

Colour Blind

I don't see the colour of your skin.

I see
the colour of your heart.

Is it dark and putrid or
is it the color of a soft and lilting tune?
Is it filled with warm tones,
or cold?
Hues of ice and snow,
or gold?

Do you give or take?
Do you love or hate?

I don't see race or faith,
I just see you-
your energy, your words, your actions.

I see you; I just simply
see you.

Fill every crack in my body with cement and wine
Sober me up with stale breath and cold finger tips

Sting my skin with the fire of your words
Make my insides spin when I think of our last moment together

I am breathless but yet full of energy
I am running but my feet haven't left the ground
I am spinning without becoming dizzy
I am without reason
Something you always taught me

Take my silence and turn it into a poem
Something that can be spoken to the heavens
Of higher power to be spewed upon them in a way that is inhumanly
I'll see you at the viewing
I'll be in black
You'll be in your best dress

It was so brief
Not even my eyes could've have caught it
Once there now gone

I am vain
I am emotional
I am king

I feel every morsel of my body tense up
I'm looking at your headstone
Counting the bouquets of dead flowers

You were my rain and shine
You were divine

I am the sign
Saying you're going the wrong way
Turn back now

I am crippled from the thought
I have a headache and this room feels smoky
There's strangers in every dark corner
You always told me not to be in these situations

You disappeared and I fell into the darkness
I am painless I am stainless
Many have tried painting there words into my skin but it's all melted away shortly after

The only thing that ever stayed with me was something you branded into my arm last summer

"I love you. I miss you"

Then I start feeling
How it is like to live in a heaven
Being loved and kissed
In the days pass by and to the days come by

Then my feelings start singing
To a soft blue rhythm
Augmenting the aura brighter
Even more to thousand stars

**Then myself start turning to yours
Harmonize the splendor of
Colosseum to the vintage days of Paris
' Mihiraviye...'
Days to days - Years to years
The time was beaten
By the sunshine of the spring
Happily everlasting