A date?
I don’t know.

Your love—
is it fake?
Maybe.

Why did you take my number?
Just to know.

And now,
what will this be?
Perhaps a story
already fading into smoke.

Let’s pretend
we never did a thing.

The older I get
the less I search for

truth

because these days
a white face and honking nose

work for me

it's the simple and absurd things
in this life

that are all I need

To me, it’s like you’re trying to make it as painful as it could possibly be.
You come back just to disappoint me once more.
You are everything I was hoping for, yet everything I can’t have.

i walked downstairs to my room
and cried the way i had taught myself.
curled up in a ball
tears dripping to the ground
gripping the floor
screaming
crying
yelling
but never heard.
silent.
i would never wake my family!
why, that would be mean.
so i cry.
silently.
and rip my hair out
and try not to cut
and punch the floor
and hug myself
and punch myself
and hate myself and feel so, so sorry for the little boy who had to deal with this.
for myself.
i hate this

I didn’t get giddy
like pinch me giddy
but man
have you put a spell on me
because I’m dying to see you
but knowing it’s worth the wait

oooh! i say
as the blade slices
ouch! i say
as the blood flows,
and the scars grow.

you cut to get rid of the pain
but its just like a boomerang.

you slice and heal, and slice and heal,
never-ending moments of "this can't be real"

oh its real.

Can you tell that I am down bad?
Is it so painfully obvious that I like you?
Sure, I text you everyday,
and I ask you enough questions to make the press seem amateur,
and yeah I keep trying to hang out,
but that's what friends do, right?
friends.
Just friends.

Writhing, violent rebellion
Systems shutting down
Uncontrollable behavior
Powerless, I frown

Fresh wounds by the second
Digesting razor blades
Flickering old habits
Born of old flames

Shredding softest weakness
Corroding iron strength
Nothing will escape
Mind snaps, and bends

Healing salve corrupted
Swallow all the same
Eradicates stomach lining
Emptiness becomes pain

Consciousness cradled
Craven slumber, debased
Maybe this time

Maybe - !

Maybe not.