that’s just it?
isn’t it.

the little patter of rain
half eaten sandwich
and awkward angles
Squished between all the I love yous
and miss yous

hoping when you say ‘come round again!’
they get the chance to

I loved you like the stars were inconsequential that night

because nothing in that moment mattered as much
as your exhales declaring your needs against the inhales of my dreams

and now I meditate
amidst the wind

inhaling
and exhaling

while staring at the stars

because god they are stunning.

for I tell you
let me cry for I was made to have love in my heart
and yearning on my sleeves

sometimes it takes pouring gasoline
and walking away

other times

it’s meticulously, painstakingly
removing debris
on your hands and knees

and learning to try again

some kisses and liquor are best left
when left
alone

Maybe you always were a rainbow but i could only see in single shades.
Pink or blue i labeled you, but baby you were a colorful parade.
You saw a kaleidoscope pattern a beautiful array.
you tried to share it with me but i didn’t know what to say.
In my own way i was blinded couldn’t see the flashes of light.
Had to shield my eyes the colors were to bright.
See baby i was taught to only see things through their filter.
When you tried to show me something different it left me off kilter.
Still i am learning and spinning  but i promise to try.
To see and appreciate your beautiful colors painting the sky!

you loved me for my innocence
my light
my newness

and like looking back on faded pictures
i sit shaking my head
at how little she knew
and that I wish I could bottle her fearless
trust

but god I can’t blame you
for loving a force of nature

because for all of it
you held her as best as you could

with terror in your eyes and trembles in your hands
that she’d leave

because she was too young to read the signs
and so she cries all the way home
to me

flipping through poems
and what I thought love only was