I think that I'm losing my hair
This is something, that I can't bare
My one and only fear
Is where do we go from here
Do I make the right turn
Or do I crash and burn
Do I kneel and pray
Or do I just run away
I drove my car very fast
How long do you think, that this can last
I'm very big on trust
This is a must
Eventually everything will turn into dust

i love you
i'm irrevocably in love with you.
i love the way your hair brushes through my skin like silk feathers.
i love the way you smile,
and how your tiny little eyes hold the universe within them.
i love how your chubby cheeks perks up like freshly blossomed red cherries on a spring morning.
i love how your bouquets of aroma is so alluring, that my body bathes in it everyday.
i love to hear the sound of your high pitched, husky voice when i call you at 3 am in the morning.
i love how you dance as if nobody is watching when in reality,
everybody is watching.
your grace,
your elegance,
your boldness,
your confidence,
is exquisite,
rare,
and,
transcendent.
i love how every move you make intrigues me,
luring me in into the depths of your warm, heavenly soul.
you are filled with flaws,
and yet you are absolutely,
completely,
inexplicably,
FLAWLESS

I'm so tired,
tired of feeling empty,
tired of feeling pain,
so scared of getting hurt again.
Tired of feeling worthless,
It's been so long since I felt true happiness.
Tired of constantly fighting a loosing battle,
tired of the roller coaster of emotions every single day,
tired of pretending that I'm okay.
Up down up down and round and round,
my mind's a mess all scrambled like eggs.
Anger, frustration, fed up of being in the same dark place.
And I try my best but I get tired of always getting knocked down every time i try and get back up.
Makes me want to just give up,
throw in the towel and not give a ****.

Why?

i don’t know why i tried,
said what i said,
or do what i do.
being with him was pointless
he doesn’t make me feel the way i should,
loved that is
it won’t matter in the end
because it’s no secret i know he feels it too,
us breaking in two
—an excerpt from the book i’ll never write
C.T.

Happy Birthday to you Toni, may you be supping many cold pina colladas in old Mehico with my boy Gumtree Gebbie.

Only know it’s your birthday because it also happens to be our 33rd wedding anniversary. 33 years with the old Sheila….Gawd!

She phoned me a few minutes ago to remind me…I’m sitting at my early morning desk writing out purchase orders, she is sitting up in bed at Taranaki, with a hot cup of tea issuing orders.

Something about the order of things there??

Off home this afternoon with a car full of ***** washing, fresh strawberrys and bunches of asparagus picked this morning. I’ve got instructions to mow the ****** lawns, **** eat the verges and trim the ****** hedges, pick up her DVD and newest novel from the New Plymouth library as I pass through…and get here by 6pm or you’ll be late for tea….again!!!

Paradise this marriage business, effing paradise!

On Sunday we plan to celebrate the New Year by having dinner at the Sugar Juice café in Opunake…which will be an event!....then we are off to the “Everyman's Cinema” in Opunake which is run by a farmers wife who, incidentally, wears loud print, tent like dresses, is about 4 axe handles wide and speaks with a distinctly unpleasant nasal twang. The “Everyman's Cinema” is famous for its seating arrangement…. 120 ancient couches spread before the silver screen from which patrons are encouraged to drink their own ***** and crunch away on packets of noisy potato chips….Should be fun…”no bookings necessary” she nasally informed. ….Movie on offer “****** on the Orient Express”

Mum and I should be home, tucked up in bed and snoring… well before midnite!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Luv Dad

  PS: HAPPY NEW YEAR to both you fellas and your lovely ladies, may your festivities match ours and may good things happen to us all in the new year ahead…..We deserve it !

Cheers dears Dad