i find myself
in my room
staring through everything
thinking about nothing
feeling my ambitions fall
farther and farther
from my sanity
I have thought about death
maybe that's what interests me
this self indulgent lifestyle
keeps draining my will
wish i didn't have these regrets
the difference between wants and needs
within your head
its all bullshit
you're a fake
just a plug
just a fucking bag of meat
standing still in the left lane of a crowd
you're a self destructive
no confidence having
look at you, not even a bit of creativity
a self pity
with no point, no purpose
you are not what you thought you would become
and you need to realize that
Fuck it move on, you know that he's gone
Get a new life, forget about your "home"
It was a fairytale that had no end
Not real enough to ever begin
Close your eyes, and take this pill
What will happen is so unreal
The haunted memories will be erased
Never again will you see his face
Your life will go back to before yall met
No love for you, its time to forget
Beautiful and innocent, flower of my life.
Shy, yet confident, your soul shines my light.
I'm going to protect you forever and a day.
You'll always be okay and out of harm's way.
You are the happiness that I can't live without.
The smile in my life that everything's about.
Baby sister, never listen to what the boys say.
And if they dare to touch you, they best go 'head and pray.
Stay innocent and sweet, make this promise to me.
And forever you'll be happy, and forever you'll be free.
You came and you scooped me right off my feet.
Told me you loved me, not missing a beat
We'd say it was special and that they had no clue.
Said it'd last forever, but who ever knew?
You loved me the first, so new and exciting.
And then the love drugged us and turned us to fighting.
I was too blind to see, your love shined so bright.
How could rays of poison burn so damn right?
The whole time inside, I knew nothing lasts.
Just went with the ride, it ended so fast.
You now have convinced me, true love isn't real.
Just something to teach us how to really feel.
Everything's okay now, no love but no hate.
And what happens in the end is left up to fate.
He was the fire inside my heart
Never thought we'd be apart
The warmth running threw my veins
When he kissed me in the rain
Thought he would love me without any lies
but we all know, someday the truth will arise
Took my heart and tore it apart
Knew it would happen from the start
Just another dumb girl that wanted to believe
In true love and a man that would never leave
But some things in life just never exist
So never again will I take this risk
Stupid fucking girl that'll never fucking learn
Love kicks your ass and makes your heart burn
So here's your poem, I'm sure it's not the first
That you've made a girl cry and spill out her words
Why am I living in this hell?
This smile is fake, they all can tell.
You don't care, as im fighting for you
until the day comes that i am finally threw.
Then you'll say sorry with pain filled eyes
as im giving you my last goodbye.
As a week girl, theres not much I can take
Until Im on my knees crying with a shake.
I don't want to let go, just want to mean more
to the guy that I'm letting go of everything for.
Your love for me is fading and i dont know why
it just makes me want to give up and cry.
I want him in my arms but he couldnt care less
About the things I do to give him my best.
All I want is for you to care
Not tell but show me you will always be there
not just because I want it to be true.
But I want you to feel the same as I do for you.
A bluebird flew..
More bluebirds followed..
Swings, slides and merry go rounds creaked,
Empty playgrounds called their little friends to come play,
As none came but the chilling wind,
Blowing leaves in mornings bleak.
So the bluebirds flew,
Bluebirds flew South,
She was kind to kids,
He was overwhelmed by their chatter,
She'd swing em around in her arms,
He'd give em rides on his back all day.
They weren't there either,
Cause they came for the children,
Who were away on vacation,
Above the bluebirds flew,
Invisible against the sky,
Snowflakes fell, scant and slow,
Trees became whiter and sun shone brighter,
Parks were deserted, no school buses were seen,
Nor an ice-cream truck in sight, only a white hazy sheen,
For December had arrived and in its wake the people had fled,
To beaches in tropics and islands alike..
Where the bluebirds flew,
The bluebirds flew there to,
It wasn't chance, it was merely unfair,
Which is why it was this way,
They didn't go to church, But merely walked in arms,
Never praying but forever wishing, for a little luck to come their way,
Bluebirds afar flew,
Bluebirds flew to lands far away,
Soon the earth spun, and seasons changed,
The parks they filled, the buses they plied,
Running all over the city, for ice-cream they once again cried,
All came back that evening in the park, all but one,
Their favorite one..
Back North the bluebirds returned,
Wondering what had happened,
They rushed to find out,
Tried his place, it was locked,
Couldn't find him at school nor in parks,
The Cityhall and even the church they tried
A tiny red haired girl, nowhere they could find,
And then they got the news,
Her parents had been lost at sea,
Leaving the little one all alone behind,
The Bluebirds flew in circles,
Them Bluebirds couldn't fly,
How'd the earth spun, they never did realize,
Oceans in their aftermath had left something behind,
A wish for them, closure of a kind,
But a bus came, for a foster home that night,
He only got the news the next morning,
All day next and the night thereafter she cried,
The Bluebirds swayed in the winds,
Braced the gust the bluebirds did,
For it showed them a way, twisted although it was,
They'd get their wish, something they never had,
A child of their own and guardians for the poor child,
Solace for all, but yet the world argued,
Morality, fate and blasphemy they called it,
The Other Bluebird simply called it divine.
And so the Bluebirds fly,
Bluebirds seen flying by,