A longing ache has settled in
Took hold
Body and soul
Anguished heart is drenched in sin
I've missed the chaos of losing control

A rosebud sprouts darkness
Into bloom inside
My thoughts turn morbid I guess
Towards death or suicide

Raw emotions torture mind
Trust a rare commodity
Truth is challenging to find
Light impossible to see

Strength no longer fills bones
So difficult to accept
Something inside sinks like stones
Pretend I don't feel the effect

Hiding behind bursting false assurance
Behind closed doors
All the while wandering without insurance
Own chains will lift off the floor

I lost faith in what's above
Realizing vulnerability shows
The very thing I am afraid of
My unspoken woes

If only to soothe throbbing
Live in a state of peace
Fully expose the root of my sobbing
Stripped entirely of suffocating release

Dust creeps down throat
Then recedes
Plant regrets in the mud
Sprung like dandelion weeds
Invisible blades in my gut

Friends twisting handles carelessly
To and fro feelings spun then stopped
Chase fragments of what we'll never be
Off ground pick up the heart that dropped

Wandering world in a state of defeat
As I seek tomorrow
Side to side on clumsy feet
Under weight of all my sorrow

where, where did you go

away from me?

now of all times, why

does it not hurt to see me bleed?

every time i think you'll prove me wrong

right back where we started.

In the wee hour
when the world sleeps
I get my bag
and start wandering
I chase the trail
that your thoughts
are leaving behind - in the sand
and in no time
i find myself -  in wonder land
There is the hope
There is the love
There is the star of the north
There are the signs all along
In that moment
when the bond is very strong
you glitter
like a jewel in the crown
and when the day breaks at last
I come home
with a bag full of words
to pen them down

My heart, roofless, it searches for the spirit.
Whisper of birds in the silent Valley,
Songs of the moonlight bloom,
There I find tranquility.
Drifting thousands leaf,
I see what other not see.
Dwelling hundreds rest,
Other see what I not see.

Sometimes I want what others have
Sometimes I dont
Sometimes I go the extra mile
Sometimes I wont

Sometimes I want what others had
Sometimes I dont
Sometimes I look at all thats good
Sometimes I wont

Sometimes I see life for what it is
So short and pointles
Sometimes I see life for what it is
So long and painful

Sometimes I know it's just a mood
Sometimes I wish that i just could
Sometimes I need to know what to want
Sometimes all of it is not enough

Words just wander
In my mind
But all the pieces
Hard to find

What are they?
And where do they
come to go?
Like missing pieces
of a puzzle
I’ll never know

The moon lost its balance and eclipsed...
and that poor lonely north star
right above it
gone out of sight...
abandoned, scarred  and shattered
which was once so bright...
leaving many
through the dark
wandering in fright...