Sometimes I’d rather close my eyes and enjoy the ride
Other times I’d rather fight to be in the drivers seat
Both are overwhelmingly apart of who I am
But when the scale tips, who will win?
This is height vs width
Fight vs flight
Nature vs nurture
Ying vs Yang
Two in the same
The most vile form of pain
To be pulled by all for limbs at the same time
That’s pain
Pain that I would like to lay down
So I will do just that
Handing you the keys, closing the door on my way out
Watching the car move down the street as I wave
I think that’s what I’ll do

oh the freedom in being
the happiness that unfolds
I release it all
I release the tightness in my hands
I release the tension in my jaw
I release the breath I’ve been choking back
I release it all

oh the joy in being
the relief that follows
I release it all
I release the creases in my face
I release the tears in the trenches of my soul
I release the smile I’ve been punishing

oh to be
to breathe
to stretch
to smile
oh to simply be

I don’t know what to name it
It’s such a beautiful emotion
Provoking my heart to race against itself
Fooling my eyes
I can’t comprehend it’s weightlessness
It’s almost too freeing
My breath leaves me
My palms sink into the earth, it’s perfect
Everything is perfect
There is hope here
There is life here
It’s an indescribable emotion

A life of constantly fighting off grief

This life of longing

My life is reaching, stretching, sprinting for more

But what is more? It’s aimless, emptiness

It’s this life of mine, longing, grieving, longing

This is a life of longing