Allow me to return to the written page
A very close friend, Bluestar is her name,
Today we aim to address a simple question,
Why am I single? And always stressin?

Allow me please to sip on this hot tea
As we shed some light as to why you're alone in your bed tonight
So if it doesn't apply then go ahead and let it fly

First off do you think it's cute bragging about being crazy
I'll cut your meat of if you cheat and we're supposed to look at you with eyes that are glazing?

Do you really think men like it when you threaten to end their manhood?
You don't see us going around, saying we'll ruin your life
And why do you always gotta ask me who I'm texting?
I mean usually its my mom, not a crazy ex you think I sext with

Seriously jealousy and insecurity are what messes you up
And can you please stop fishing for compliments when you aren't feeling to *****
I get it, we all need a good boost now and then
But asking me a question you don't want the real answer to isn't going to help girlfriend
Oh and before I forget communication is key
If I ask you what's wrong and you say nothing, and I move on from the issue don't blame me
I'm not professor Xavier, I cannot read minds

I cannot deal with this b.s for much longer
I need you to realize your insecurities aren't real,
Your **** looks fine in those jeans, and your hair isn't messed up,
But the more and more you ask me that the more and more I doubt that fact

You really ought to listen to me now,
Guys like me don't like to see you angry,
And the more you question me the angrier you'll get
And that's entirely your fault

They say love makes us do some crazy things
I just wish our lives intertwined
That'd be amazing
I'm like a dog with no bone or a cat without nip
A joke with no punch line or a wet floor that can't slip

I can't help it I'm crazy about you
You saved my life so you know I'd never doubt you
But I physically pain when you're away
I ache And hurt, and masquerade like I'm okay
And let's not even talk about hormonal situations
I said you're my superwoman, but even I need saving
I get it, you have responsibilities and stuff to maintain
But me without you is simply insane
I can't stand to think of someone else holding your hand it eats me up inside and today I woke up with tears in my eyes...
disguised as laughter and jokes

I'm like a nicotine head trying to cover up that he smokes
Or Tommy Chong taking Vicadin when we all know he tokes
Or a crack addict with no pipe
a straw with no berry
You're the Apple of my eyes but they close day by day... And it's scary

Lately I've been crying internally externally I'd seem weak even though I'm already sensitive and rather meek but I've been lonely ****** can Ikik really blame me I found love that I no longer seek but we haven't talked recently I mean we don't have beef but it'd be nice if we spent a bit more time together like wu tang getting cream I mean I hate sounding clingy but I miss my lady can you blame me she's amazing entrancing like a hypnotist I swear we're into ***** **** but we've not been talking lately ugh I hate her job I know she has to work but she's my lantern in life's bog but anyway enough about my relationship issues now onto my constant sadness I hate parts of what I've become it's like I honestly thought I'd be much different from what I am I thought I'd be able to do much better socially and emotionally but I'm one depressing ******* I swear dating sometimes leaves my heart plastered on the wall in my room like it was another enemy in doom with gloom and staying almost exclusively in my room
okay I'm done now I've gotten more of these sick emotions off my chest and into the ocean that is the internet

When I say I love you just know that I mean it
My heart became a coupon that you redeemed its crazy how I've gone all the way over the cheesy moon for you
I knew better exsisted, I didn't know it'd be you.

When I say I'm not giving up I will not rest I'm not gonna let my first real love in sometime go I guess you're stuck with me like I am with you
I go so crazy without I don't know what to do

When I say your beautiful it's like I'm describing a work of art
Your body drunkens my eyes while you cast a spell on my heart
I hope and pray that we never part
I met the woman of my dreams
and over I don't wanna start

What most people don't realize
is that inspiration lives in front of your eyes
pain is often it's favorite disguise
but it also takes other forms to hide
love, hatred, lust and beauty
and we as poets must fulfill our duty
to catch inspiration in all of its forms
and pen it down with ink, so our voices can't be ignored.

Would you mind if I related a story to you
about how my headphones picked me up when I was Ohhhhhhhhhh so blue?
When I cried like a baby
until I. could block out the world and listen to my first love daily?

Well peep the scene I had just turned 13
and I was in middle school
away from my friends and family
it took a lot to resist doing something rash and being tossed out on my a$$.

Anyway for the first time in my life,
the prime time of my life at that
I was alone, my only friends right then being the clothes on my back
and the headphones I had put into my backpack

Well my MP3 at the time was on shuffle,
after I got out that day and avoided a scuffle
I put my earbuds in promptly and what did I hear?
RHCP under the bridge, a song I still hold dear
"Sometimes I feel like my only friend"
was a lyric that described exactly the situation I was in.

I was being pushed right then to end my life and become food for the crow or raven
but that song saved my life
and even after all the tears I cried that night
I got up. stronger. ready to carry on life's grand fight.

Nighttime is upon us
the kids are all in bed
thoughts of sugar highs in the morning
now dancing in their heads.

But what's on my mind
isn't of the family friendly kind
I'm thinking of her soft flesh
against my body, in a seductive grind.

Laying on my bed with her controlling my body
Rewarding me when I'm good, spanking her when she's naughty
I must be a tomb raider because I intend on exploring her body,

I want to touch and caress every inch
of those dangerous, treacherous curves
Give her ******* a slight pinch
and feel her body tingling and stimulating all of my nerves.

After the 4play is done the real fun can begin
I want to go down on her and lick every inch
I want to be inside her
my god she's driving me mad with hormones and desire

Oh what I'd give
if closer to you I could live
What's going on?
Is the fate forever opposed to my happiness?
I knew you would be something different
Loyalty and genuine love is so hard to find nowadays when I stumbled onto you I discovered why it didn't work, and I was still running through loves strange Rat race.

It's amazing what you find
I wasn't searching for love in fact at the time
I was going to be alone not leave my home and punish all those people I thought had lied
telling me that I deserved the best but weren't giving me a chance
like I knew I could step but I wasn't invited to the dance.

Now I'm happier than I think I've ever been in my life
when I'm talking to you all the stress falls out of my life
it's like I was a storm that you calmed
that mutt on the side of the road that you brought in and nursed back to warmth.

I guess if I can make it simple
I love you, everything about you, your hair your eyes abd those cute little dimples.

The Guide
the guide that lies in front of my eyes
The spirit that no one can see,
the spirit that knows no apathy
Only cold purpose
And it would never try to shirk it's duties to us pitiful humans but do we
as people, as poets, as breathing life forms
Do more harm than good, or Good than harm with our words whether slurred, spoken, written or whispered lovingly being the barn?
Do we live our lives to the fullest while chopping down another's forest
Or do we abhor this enough to encourage life among all organisms within this earths strange prism?

Wake up
get my weight up
walk to the kitchen, okay my meds ain't up,
What's this?
another nervous tick, shxt! I hope I can learn to deal with this.
Head twinging I think I better lay back down
Again? I feel like I'm an ostrich against my head in the ground
Wake up from my unintended nap
Now i feel a little bit better but my headache is whipping my a$$
Now this isn't a normal day for most
Forgive me for being a poor host
But my brain, because of my condition can haunt me and torture me like an unwanted ghost.
You see, I suffer from a disease called epilepsy
I'm not whining about it I've learned to carry this burden,
but people always asking "what's it like" is tedious like butter churning.