If only you knew


If only you knew how I feel about you,
Would it make any difference to the things that you do?
Do you always look this good, or is it only for me?
Can everybody else see what I see before me, or are they unworthy?


If they do not see your shining beauty,
Then they are losing out on the best thing they could see.
I realise they know you are beautiful,
But why are people not surrounding you to be close to you?
You are a world above, one I could love,
If I ever believed that is what you want and that you could.


If only you knew how I feel about you,
Would it make any difference to the things that you do?
I wish I could speak your mind,
So I could tell you my truth.
You could make me feel;
You could make me feel brand new.


I could fall so deep into your arms,
If you would only ask it of me.
I could stand ten feet tall, to reach up to your star heart,
If I knew that is what you wanted…
But that will never be.


(C)2017 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

I came here for criticism
To be loved by many
I came here to share my truth
To see if I was any good
But how will I know
If you don't tell me
So all I ask is to review my work
as if I was good enough to be here
Will i get rejected?
Or will I aspire?
How will I know?
I am not looking for approval.
Just to become a better writer
So if you hate my truth then tell me why.

I wish I could go back and say no louder
I wish I would have pushed you off of me
I trusted you with everything I had, and you ruined that with a few simple actions
Why didn't it stop that night?
Why did it continue for months?
I knew it was wrong, but I just went along with it
My body ridged with fear
I remember saying stop
But the words I said were ignored
So you could be in bliss
I still can't remember it all
My brain has saved me from the details
But it is etched in my memory and will never go away
That I am a survivor of an assault
An assault on not just my body, but mind and soul
Trust shattered
I can't even kiss without thinking of those night I lay under you
If I just said something after that first night. That first kiss. That first touch...
Would I still be broken?

He said, "Your attraction elongates my friend with one eye"
Magnetism gets confused with pleasure and quick steam of flying juices
A one sided satisfaction
A distraction
That's causes a reaction
For me to see you completely different
The excitement is gone
Disastrous
Insecurities releases
Now you got a problem
I'm surrounded by a **** boy
Who can't control his *****
The ***** controls his sentence
Pleasure is his witness
A temporary fix
Unity disappear
Don't **** with chemicals
You don't see clear
I swear
I feel different when I release that energy
Cuz there's no understanding to this attraction
He said, "you got me up"
But there's more to my attraction
don't be blinded by what you can get into
To make your organs loose
Why can't a man be attracted to a woman or a woman attracted to a man and not engage in those yin/yang wonders

waking up in a world full of grey
try to see the bright and amazing colors i know are there
forcing a smile when i want to cry
pop a pill and wish to be happy again
don't know what wrong with me
all i want to do is cry and rage i have no idea why
depression is darkness that creeps with in me
as i where a mask of happiness