Thank you for everything,
Even though I didn’t receive anything,
I loved the time we spent
For what it was meant.

Even though your distance hurts me
I will be the first one to say
You taught me how to find the way
When my heart was mercilessly slayed

I forgive you; I still love you,
But, for what is worth,
You were my new birth,
A birth to new life,
One where I became invincible for life.

Your heartbreak made me strong,
Made me realize where I went wrong,
Now I know what do,
When someone leaves me like you.

Thank you for what time we spent
The sleepless wide awake
I know you thought about me once
But I remember you with every pulse
Your sweat memories,
Are stored like documentaries;
Your joyful laughter,
Is what I am still after.

However, distanced we are,
Just remember I am not far,
If u need a friend in the middle of the night,
Call me and I will be as ready as a knight.

I know we can’t amend the past,
I know you treat me like I am your past,
You don’t even see me anymore,
Then what do the late-night talks for?

Girl all you gave me was hatred,
But this was my heart’s prize,
Or I shall say price,
For loving you for the years I waited.

But in the end I thank you,
For everything you lead me too,
I am out of your sorrow,
And waiting for a stronger tomorrow.

My dear heart
It’s time to be smart
She doesn’t like me
It is the only thing to see

Take my advice
We need a break
From this constant affection
Cause it is becoming an addiction

If you don’t stop now
You will break once more
Trust me you don’t want to be
A sinking boat in the middle of a sea

A sea of lifeless hope
A sea you use to cope
The dream that she likes you
Is nothing but Deja Vu

Why do you still love her
She doesn’t want me as her lover
What is now left to uncover
Nothings is left to discover


My heart I know what you are
You are a naïve explorer
Waiting to be accepted by your lover
But that lover isn’t the one
This is what my love has done

I know she is priceless,
You think she can’t replace,
But she has replaced us---
From her life,
She doesn’t think it’s wise.

My boy Sit tight,
As I am finding someone right
Someone who can hold you
Someone who respects you

Closing the door,
Forgetting her,
Is all you can do,
Because see---
What her love turned into.

So, I tell you one last time
Remove her from your mind
She was never your light—
just a shadow in your night.

The pedestal has crushed
from underneath everyone’s feet,
I am now vacant of all elaborate hope
that allowed the pendulum to swing
a presence swept 100 miles away
into a stream of memory

left with such unrest
I will gorge on rumination,
fill my cup with self-neglect;
loathing in the winter breeze
I can only hope to endure
every moment into its next

My head pleads,
"you moved away,
but forgot to move on”
and despite the emptiness it creates
my heart still wants to say,
"goodbye, and so long”

Two finches perch on my balcony railing
They stare at me through the window
I watch, sat at my desk, as they fidget
Their tiny bodies expand with breath
Feathered bellies rise and fall
Short black talons hook around metal, clutching
Glassy black bead eyes taking in my cloudy winter blue
They stretch and shake out their wings, waiting
The birds don't know that you moved

I get your mail sometimes
I wonder who you must've been
I wonder where you are now
You must've cared about these birds, that they came back for you
It's a strange feeling, piecing together the parts of you
I know your name and your interest in fashion magazines
While you don't know that I've lived here now, too

The woman below me leaves out a flat and shallow dish on her patio
She keeps it filled to the rim with seeds and corn kernels
Squirrels and rabbits dive for it
Like a child into a pile of crispy autumn leaves
The birds take too, of course
They peck at the spill-over piles on the concrete
When I see them, I think some could be the ones that visit me often, the two
Although I know it's unlikely; there must be a thousand finches in this city
Yet, I wonder if the act at least reminds them of you

You probably get prior tenant's mail
Do you discover a story?
Or do you simply throw it out, without a glance?
Am I overthinking this?
Are these two birds just random birds, taking a rest?
Does it matter?

Two finches don't know that you moved
They perch on my balcony railing
They stare at me through the window
Black meets blue
They stretch and shake out their wings, leaving
I hope they find you

Written: 5/5/2025

The ominous wind blew into my lungs again.
"Here's your crown, king of the call centers again!"
Las Cruces proclaims to this insubordinate ant;
as I reach back to Phoenix
with cold crackling hands.
We are blind, my wife & I
awaiting this fog to dissipate it's settings.
This civilization in distressing woes;
where locust moths here eat up all financial blessings.
But in our grief the future things bloom, as
I held in thought God's light on the
empty tomb.
Man-made hope comes in breakable triangles
and hangs on mortal suspense but in
lowest terms the call center pays the rent.

money is sacred to me—
because i never had it.
we borrowed bread
from neighbours
at the end of the month,
waited for donations,
and watched my father
settle his debts
to bar owners
instead of us.

i learnt to sit small
in the corner
with peach juice,
while he ordered
beer and pálinka.
he kept bottles in the pantry,
pretending we couldn’t hear
the corks easing free.

when i left,
i carried eighty pounds
in my pocket,
with a luggage filled with air,
a week’s worth of clothes,
a soft blanket, no duvet.
but a hunger for something
i couldn’t yet name.

it was freedom.
never money.

now, that it’s mine,
it does nothing to me.
it bends, but doesn’t hurt.
i saved, built with it,
learnt to breathe
on my terms.
it comes, and leaves
when it wants.
and that, to me,
is wealth enough.

(a tribute to becky albertalli)

i learnt english at sea,
traded my tongue
for salt and compass,
but it was becky
who brought me back to land —
when a boy fell in love
with another boy,
and his words dared me
to claim that same love
as my own.

her book lived on my nightstand,
spine worn to a gentle curve,
sentences humming in my head
until they belonged to me
as much as they belonged to her.

she offered me the strength
to feel less ashamed
of being different,
gave me a fire that burned
through the blame
i was ready to bear myself.

she gifted me with confidence
to leave my homeland
my heart outgrew,
and find my way to a place
where love was not a secret —
a shore worth swimming to.